The 11 Best and Worst Movies of 2013

Man, did 2013 suck or what??  Terrible terrible year.  Especially for movies.  And, what's weird is that it wasn't like there were an abundance of bad movies either (granted there were like eight Tyler Perry movies this year) this was just the year of the unexceptional movie.  There was nothing gritty like the Django's of last year or The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo of 2012 or even The Social Network or The Fighter of 2011.  Nothing that came out this year was that solid (ooh ooh best movie of the year right there) moment.  It felt like nothing had enough balls to do so.  Even the film that I rank as the best movie of 2013 probably would've barely made top 5 from last year.  So, I give you the eleven best and ten worst movies.  Enjoy!!!

Now, I do have to admit that there are a few films that I wasn't able to see that could've possibly made the list.  Most notably I didn't see the now Oscar nominated Dallas Buyers Club, Nebraska or Philomena.  I will make an effort to get a hold of these films so that I can accurately review them for you.  On to number 11!!!

The Top 11 BEST FILMS of 2013:

11. Inside Llewyn Davis

 











The Coens have done it again.  A dark comedy full of heartache and whimsy.  A lead character you both hate and root for.  A soundtrack worth the price of admission alone.  It's one of the quieter Coen brothers films but in a year of underwhelming movies, this movie stood out to me.  Even though I didn't catch all of the symbolism or parallels or allusions or metaphors or anything else the Coens tend to cram into their movies, I was able to watch a great film and reflect on the moments that meant the most to me.  I'll be watching this movie many times again, catching new things with each viewing.  Wonderful film.
Review here.

10. The Conjuring

 











I feel as though I may get a little bit of hate for this one.  In typical movie standards, no, it probably wouldn't normally make a general list.  However, as far as horror movies go, it was near perfect.  In a time when torture, blood, guts, and jump scares reign supreme... one director has decided to go back to the roots of horror and try to scare the living piss out of you without hardly showing you a thing.  I was terrified nearly the entire time and the danger was only alluded to.  It was one of the most frightening experiences in a theater I've ever had and there's almost no blood in it.  The film was rated R for being too scary.  That says something.  Those who love watching movies where the killer is a masked man with a machete gutting teenagers is going to hate it.  But those who love a good old-fashioned tension-filled thriller will agree that The Conjuring deserves to be on this list.
Review here.

9. Hunger Games: Catching Fire 

 











You gotta hand it to the people behind this movie franchise.  How many young adult novels have been adapted since Harry Potter and Twilight exploded that were actually good??  Not that Twilight was any good... because we all know that it's the equivalent of a cinematic septic tank.  But, what's great about The Hunger Games, something that worked really well in the Harry Potter franchise is that it doesn't feel like it's only catering to kids.  They abide by the rating, but they tell the story in it's full emotional effect.  If it's violent, then there's violence.  If it's a scary situation, then you're going to be scared.  I hadn't enjoyed a movie like this in a long while.  It was fun to watch and exciting to see where it's heading.  It has fully matured upon it's predecessor and looks as though we're going to be in for one hell of a fun ride during the finale.  Hunger Games: Catching Fire was most certainly one of my favorite movies of the year.
Review here.

8. TIE!!  Don Jon/Her

I couldn't choose between these two movies, and I figured since they both feature a great performance by Scarlett Johannson, they might as well go together.  Don Jon showed us a man who is a true player, addicted to porn, unable to truly love... fall in love.  The way that he deals with these feelings, while struggling to rid himself of his addiction is truly remarkable.  On the other side of the coin, Her shows us a shy, down on his luck guy, addicted to his computer, fall in love... with his computer.  The way that he deals with these feelings as well as those around him, while struggling to rid himself of the hurt from his past and finally love again is also truly remarkable.  Both of these films are highly recommended romantic comedies.
Review here and here.

7. American Hustle

This is a movie I'll really need to see a few more times to fully follow everything that happens in it.  If you look away for only a second, it's going to get you lost.  If you stayed glued to the screen the entire time... chances are you'll feel like you still missed something.  That's the beauty of the film.  It's a con.  It's a con for everyone.  Even the writer was conned out of his script.  Most of the dialogue in the film was improvised by the actors.  This is exactly what talent is.  American Hustle is the embodiment of true Hollywood talent.
Review here.

6. The World's End

 










While This Is The End was probably the most laugh-out-loud comedy of 2013, The World's End is probably the smartest comedy of 2013.  While the whole movie isn't side-splittingly funny, the concept of each scene is hilarious.  There are a lot of laugh out loud moments, but it's a British movie, too.  So, it's a bit of a thinker.  This is also a movie (much like the Simon Pegg/Nick Frost/Edgar Wright movies of the past) that needs to be viewed several more times in order to pick up the subtle jokes and call backs that are sprinkled in throughout the film.  The final entry in the Blood and Ice Cream trilogy is a perfect and worthy conclusion.
Review here.

5. Mud

 









Words can hardly express how great this movie is.  It's a beautiful film full of rich characters and a great story.  McConaughey is magnificent as the titular character Mud.  It's a coming of age movie starring two young adults, but it's not them who need to learn the lessons of the world, it's Mud himself.  It was a little known film, but for anyone who appreciates great filmmaking this is sure one to look out for. 


4. The Way Way Back

Coming of age movies don't come more perfect than this.  With an ensemble cast of wonderful actors including Sam Rockwell, Steve Carrell, Toni Collette, Allison Janney, Amanda Peet, and Rob Cordry, this film is nothing short of perfect.  Rockwell is at the top of his game and Carrell has never played a better asshole.  I've watched this over five times this year and it will remain one of my favorite films, not just of this year, but of all time.  This one is highly recommended to everyone.  Everyone.
Review here.

3. Gravity

 









The premise of Gravity looked terrifying from the preview.  It looked nauseating, however, it also looked a little gimmicky with the whole 3D aspect.  While I would say that is true with 99% of films released in 3D, there are those select few that are made to viewed only in 3D, much like Avatar was.  Gravity also ranks among that 1%.  It is the single most beautiful film I've ever seen and it is completely enhanced with the 3D.  My only regret is that I only got to see it one time in theaters.  I have a strange feeling the beauty won't be replicated in home video format.  The film is simply awe-inspiring.
Review here.

2. Captain Phillips

 











Wow what a powerful, tense, taut, and emotional film.  This movie (to be completely cliche) keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire time.  My heart was pounding the entire time even though I already knew the story.  The acting was also top notch.  If Tom Hanks doesn't get anything less than an Oscar nod it'll be a shame because as far as I'm concerned the Gold belongs to him.  He's the greatest actor of our time and this film is no exception.  Even the actor who played the lead pirate is fantastic.  Everything about this movie is great and it deserves to be watched.

1. The Wolf of Wall Street

 









Hands down my favorite movie of the year.  It was batshit nuts!  If you've seen it then you know what I mean.  I've never seen a film like it in my life.  And while it didn't have the grit I mentioned earlier of films from the past few years, it still stood out to me as one of the best movies I've ever seen.  It will be a greek tragedy if DiCaprio never gets his Oscar because he is a damn fine actor and who knew the dude had comedic chops as well??  This movie isn't for everyone.  In fact, there are only a select few I would personally recommend it to, but to those that I know will appreciate it, you need to get out there and see this clusterfuck of insanity!
Review here.


HONORABLE MENTIONS: This Is The End, Stoker, Iron Man 3, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, 12 Years A Slave



The Top Ten WORST FILMS of 2013:


10. Pacific Rim

 










Okay, let's begin by saying that this definitely wasn't a horrible movie.  It wasn't.  As far as the rest of the movies on this list are concerned, this movie is Citizen Kane.  But, much like Prometheus last year, it wasn't so much how bad the movie was, but how disappointing it was.  When you have a monster movie directed by one of the most creative directors on the planet and all you get is a shittier Independence Day knock off, well then my friends, you failed. Your movie was watchable, and it's some of the best CGI I've ever seen on film... but you failed to deliver what you promised.  And that was a movie worthy of your talent.  For shame Guillermo Del Toro.
Review here.

9.  Gangster Squad

Again, a movie with so much promise.  Look at the cast.  Brolin, Gosling, Penn, Stone.  Coming out just a few months after the fantastic Lawless, we were looking for a gritty crime/mob thriller and instead we got a hokey comic strip version of cop/mob stereotypes.  It was just lame.  The trailer didn't even make it look that extraordinary, but you gotta figure with a cast like that, something brought them to say yes.  I can't figure out what it is.
Review here.

8. Parker

 











Man, I hate putting this movie on here.  My love for Jason Statham transcends Worst Movies lists.  The man is an action God and I've never hated any of his movies... except this one.  It's bad.  How do you fuck up a Jason Statham movie??  All you have to do is kill his wife in the beginning, or set him up, or double cross him, let his heart harden, try to execute your evil plan, and then watch him beat the living piss out of you and everyone you've ever known.  The end.  Do not try to get him to act.  Don't make him use a fucked up hilariously bad southern accent.  Don't throw Jennifer Lopez into the mix!  And sure as hell don't make the movie boring with almost no action whatsoever.  Jesus!  How did we get here!!!  That's okay, no one saw it anyway and he made up for it later in the year with Homefront.  Just don't do it again, okay, Statham?

7. Movie 43

 









How??? How is this the year of the ensemble shit?? You've got like a hundred Academy Award winning actors in a comedy directed by a bunch of self-proclaimed comedic directors and you wind up with a pile of balls!  There were two sketches that made me laugh and that's it.  What in the hell was everyone thinking?  It took the movie like ten years to get made.  Were the directors playing cards with all these A-list celebs and every time they'd lose the card game they'd have to take a role?  I don't get it.  There's no reason this movie should exist.  Like, at all.
Review here.

6. Bullet to the Head

 









No.  Just no, Stallone.  Okay?  Dude, you are way too old for this kind of movie.  Do what you and Arnold did in Escape Plan.  That was a fun movie.  You're too old and too unintelligible to be a "hardass" assassin being chased by the jolly green giant.  This movie had nothing redeeming about it.  It wasn't even laughable bad.  It was just painfully bad.  Sorry, dude.  Don't try this again.


5. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

 











Again with the great cast ensemble failure comedies of 2013.  Who is ever going to be able to mess up a Steve Carrell, Jim Carrey, Steve Buscemi, Alan Arkin, James Galdolfini, Olivia Wilde film ever again?? I submit to you that there is no one on this Earth that could screw that up as bad as this movie.  It's about Vegas magicians for crying out loud!!  These are some of the funniest people on Earth!  Damn you, Hollywood! How you crush dreams so well!  I'm just going to blame this on Carrell this time.  Fuck you, Carrell.  You dick!
Review here.

4. The Purge

 









Okay, normally I'd like to just take a flaming bag of dog poo and hurl it at all the movies on this list, but this one I just can't do.  It had a great premise.  Like, The Twilight Zone would've been like, "damn that's a good one!" when they heard what this movie was about.  It was just left in the hands of incompetent people.  There was no reason for most of the occurrences that happened.  The decision making was ridiculous.  The acting was terrible.  It was good for a few seconds.  The opening credits were rousing as hell.  But, ultimately, this movie just failed.  In almost every single aspect.  Especially when it should have been brilliant.
Review here.

3. Texas Chainsaw 3D

 









Derp derpy derp.  Derp a derp derp duh derpy derp derp.  Derrrrrrrrp.  I just derp'd my head on the sink.  Derp.  Duhhhhhh deerrrrrrrpppppp.  Let's make a movie.  How I use pen?  What paper mean?  Derrrrrrrrpppppp.  Let's drink Clorox.  Derppppp.  Chainsawssss hehhhhhh.  Duhhhhh uhhhh derp?  Do your thing, cuz!  Uh.... Derp?  Yeah, derp.  Heh heh okay derp!  I fell down and hurt my derp.  That's okay.  Have my derppp.  DERPPPPP!!!!  I ate six balloons today!
Review here.

2. A Good Day To Die Hard

 










I'm more pissed about this movie than any other movie on the list.  Die Hard is my favorite action movie of all time.  John McClane is my favorite action hero of all time.  The dude is a New York cop who's just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Die Hard 2... not great, but not that bad either.  Die Hard with a Vengence... almost as good as the first one.  Live Free Or Die Hard... about as good as the second one, but they still kept McClane the same dude.  This festering piece of monkey shit is a travesty and sullies the good name of the Die Hard franchise.  And I demand satisfaction!  First off, you're going to make John McClane go out of his way to find danger?  Hardly!  You're gonna cast a goofy peanut looking dude as his son.  You're going to make the film completely humorless with dumb as butt action scenes.  This is quite possibly the last Die Hard we're gonna have, and you fucked it, director John Moore.  Next time I see you, you better be wearing loose jeans because the things I'm going to find to sodomize you with aren't going to leave you with much wiggle room.  I'm just returning the favor.
Review here.

1. Grown Ups 2

 









Adam Sandler: Hey, guys, remember that shitty movie we made where nothing happened and it was just us hanging out ragging on each other with jokes that weren't even funny in the 90s?

Kevin James/David Spade/Chris Rock: Yeah?

Sandler: I have an idea.  Let's make a sequel!

Rock: A sequel?  How?  Nothing even happened in the first one to make a sequel about.

Sandler: No shit, black guy!  This one isn't going to be about anything either.  We're going to just film ourselves being consistently not funny and make a shit load of cash so I can make more unfunny movies.  I even thought of the first bit.  I don't want to spoil anything, but it

Spade: I'll do it.

Sandler: Of course you'll do it.  What else were you gonna do?

James: Me too.

Rock: Fuck it.  Let's go.

Sandler: Okay, first I just got to write the script...

*silence for ten long seconds*

*eruption of laughter*

Sandler: Ah, that was good.  Let's all go buy some cocaine.

Review here.


HONORABLE MENTIONS: Only God Forgives

Her: Isn't She Lovely?

Romantic comedies are supposed to represent all the aspects of love in a light-hearted way.  There's a definite story structure to every romcom you've ever seen: Boy meets girl, boy courts girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy learns life lesson, boy gets girl back.  Boom.  Done.  The end.  Happy new year.  They're escapes from the drudges of real life, but there are hardly any romcoms that accurately depict what it's like to be in a REAL LIFE relationship.  Some kind of get there, but substitute the ultimate realism for humor and sticking to the structure.  Films like Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Love Actually.  These are top of the class for the romcom genre, but their ability to show real life relationships are a little bit skewed.  Two films come to mind, and strangely enough they would be dubbed indie films, that have come the closest I have ever seen to being the most realistic depiction of love and what it means to go through a relationship with another person: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and 500 Days of Summer.  Both of these films were so well-written, so well acted, the characters had such chemistry that it felt like anyone watching it was able to put themselves in the shoes of the actors and see the same situations playing out before their own lives.  Well, the indie world has done it again with Her.  A movie about a weirdo and a robot voice has joined the ranks of the aforementioned romcoms as being one of the most real depiction of love ever on film.

So, after the spiel about realism, here's the plot of the film:  In the distant future technology has advanced... again.  Now available are artificial intelligence operating systems in order to help people keep their lives organized as well as provide company to those who are lonely.  Enter Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) an awkward, semi-creepy divorcee who works at a fascinating futuristic company called beautifulhandwrittenletters.com where he writes the most amazing love letters to people pretending to be them.  He surrounds himself with love everyday, though he's experiencing sorrow from his recent, and surprising divorce.  This is when he meets his new operating system, Samantha (Scarlett Johannson).  She's sweet, she's inquisitive, she wants to get to know everything about Theodore and he's unable to anything but fall in love with her.

Okay, wait, dude, I thought you said this was realistic??  It is.  In a way.  The way that Theodore's and Samantha's relationship blossoms is identical to the way any one of us connects to another human.  There's the awkward meeting period, then once you become comfortable with that person there's the cheesy jokes and fake laughter and real laughter and flirting and butterflies and wanting to talk to that person 24/7.  Then, there's the moment where you have sex for the first time and even though it's a little awkward (even more so if you're doing it with a computer voice) it's still an exhilarating moment.  There's the honeymoon phase, the first fight, the romance, the realization the honeymoon phase is over, the misunderstandings, the jealousy, the beautiful moments, and sometimes a happily ever after, sometimes a bitter end.  Even though Spike Jonze deals with love between a human and an artificially intelligent voice, there is nothing fake about Theo and Sam's relationship.  It's brutal, it's honest, and anyone who's ever been in love will be able to recognize this in the film.  It's sweet, it's touching, and it's very funny, but at times it can even be a bit heartbreaking.

It's wonderful to see Joaquin Phoenix in a role so tame and honest like Theodore.  He has to carry the movie with his face and his voice.  95% of the film he is reacting to someone who isn't even on screen.  But, for some strange reason, we care about his relationship.  We long, like Theodore longs, for Samantha to become real and for them to ride off into the sunset together.  On the other hand, we feel pity for Theodore as the only person he's able to make a romantic connection with is a computer, while he's missing someone right under his nose (Amy Adams).  His acting is fantastic and real.  Theodore is a real person with parts of himself missing or ripped away from a devastating break up.  His connection with Samantha is about learning to love again and picking up the pieces and putting himself back together again.

The strangest thing about the movie though is the "acting" from Scarlett Johannson.  It is her voice that steals the show.  She knows just the right way to say everything, the right way to giggle, the right way to moan, the right inflection when trying to be cute or when trying to be firm.  You will fall in love with her just as Theodore does.  I doubt it, but this could quite possibly be the first time someone receives an Oscar nomination for an acting category while never actually being seen on screen, and it wouldn't be unjustified at all.

Her was a beautiful and funny film.  One of the best of 2013 and a great movie for anyone who's ever had someone special in their lives, whether lost or kept.  It transcends the romcom genre, with a little sci-fi mixed in, and it's refreshing to see how any one of us could be a Theodore falling madly in love with a Samantha.  This is a highly recommended film.

A

Inside Llewyn Davis: Fare Thee Well My Honey

There's a certain expectation one has when viewing a Coen Brothers film.  One, it's going to be very unconventional.  It will follow no Hollywood structure in the slightest.  Two, it will be stranger than most films average movie goers are used to seeing.  And three, it's going to be a great movie.  There are only a handful of writer/directors active in the industry right now that we can put our faith in that their films will be great no matter what and the Coens are among that list.  They haven't really made a bad film yet.  They've made less-great films, even one mediocre film, but a bad film... no.  Hasn't happened, and at this point, I see no way that it will happen. Their newest feat Inside Llewyn Davis follows suit to their not-following-suitness of their lengthy careers.  It's a darkly funny, meditative, musically brilliant, highly enjoyable film.

One thing I've gotten a little tired of as of late as far as the Coens are concerned are the character studies without any sort of character change or life altering.  I understand that there is a certain realism to that where you understand that some people never change and sometimes bad things happen to good people and life goes on and whatnot.  But, they've employed this tactic to their last few films: No Country For Old Men, A Serious Man, True Grit, and now this one.  And it's only the Coens who can have such a melancholy outlook on life and film that can get away with it and it still referred to as brilliance.  Because it is.  The title character Llewyn Davis, a struggling folk singer, is a dick.  He got a small taste of fame, a record, and a shot at the big time with his partner "back in the day".  But, since his partner jumped of the George Washington bridge, he's constantly wandering New York looking for that one shot of fame once more.  Doing this he crashes on couches, he borrows money, he ostracizes nearly everyone he knows, and it's all for one outcome-- that his life will always be this way.  It's a downer thought that maybe sometimes life is just going to take it out on you no matter how hard you try.

To make matters even more complicated, Llewyn has found out that Jean, a former lover of his, who is now presently one of his least favorite fans, is pregnant and needs money for her abortion.  Llewyn, of course, has none.  He decides to take one last shot at a gig by traveling to Chicago to audition for a large venue.  He travels with an ex jazz musician and curmudgeon played by John Goodman (who is fantastic in every single Coen brother film).  Llewyn is given a glimpse into his future if he continues on the path that he's on, and it's not a pretty one.  Yet, all of these situations that arise, all of the obstacles that come into play in Llewyn's life... they seem to have no affect on him other than beat him down further.  He doesn't stop to contemplate his life or how he treats those around him or what he needs to do in order to bring balance to the force.  He's going to continue to be a dick and hope for the best possible outcome.

What the Coens do that no other director would have the ability to do is make Llewyn a likable guy.  With the way they defy convention in their writing and directing, we watch Llewyn treat others badly, but when it's reciprocated upon him, we feel bad for the guy.  We want him to succeed.  Why?  Who the hell knows.  It's because the Coen Brothers decided that's the way we would feel.  "Newcomer" Oscar Isaac is fantastic as Llewyn too, playing him with such dark subtlety and angst.  He's what I think of as the epitome of 60s folk-- the look, the sound, everything.  And, the magic of the brothers comes to light as they actually made me not completely hate Carey Mulligan in a film.  She's actually very good in it, and gets some of the biggest laughs.

This film is a definite Oscar contender for sure.  And, it's soundtrack is as good as their last musical feat O Brother Where Art Thou.  In the caliber of Coen Brothers films, I would say it ranks near the top of the middle.  Right around Burn After Reading, Barton Fink, and A Serious Man.  But in the realm of 2013 films this is definitely among the top of the class.

A-

The Wolf of Wall Street: A Wonderful Clusterf*ck Of Insanity

First, let me start by saying that The Wolf of Wall Street is batshit insane!  It's a movie that people watching on drugs even go "whoa!"  Keanu Reeves wouldn't even be able to believe it.  It's perfect Scorsese.  It's an unapologetic look at the life of Jordan Belfort - self made douchebag.  This dude just wanted to be a stock broker and ended up doing... well... a lot of illegal shit, making more money than I can fathom, and becoming one of the most awesome anti-heroes in film.  You know, like every Scorsese film.

The film is three hours on the dot of pure madness.  What's great is that the film could've been played as a drama all the way and it would've been some seriously mental shit on screen that was very difficult for the audience to watch.  However, instead of wagging their judgmental fingers at the lives of these characters, DiCaprio and Scorsese decided to go the comedy route.  Granted, it's an incredibly dark comedy, it is still probably the funniest movie I've seen all year.  These are despicable people doing debaucherous things.  And, for some reason, we love every minute of it.  It was a bold move for the filmmakers to go the route that they went, but because they did, we've ended up with probably the best movie of 2013.

Like I said before, DiCaprio plays Jordan Belfort, a stock broker who winds up getting so astonishingly rich that he's able to use his money for nearly any heinous feat of his choosing.  Yes, he's the decay of society in a nutshell, but he could've wound up more evil than he was.  In a Scorsese film, you're expecting him to wind up being a drug kingpin, whacking guys in the knees with baseball bats and murdering a bunch of people before going off to witness protection for the rest of his life or getting killed.  He was a white collar criminal.  He was able to employ hundreds of people and make them stinking rich as well.  On the other side, he's a drug addict, a sex addict, a white collar criminal, and a pretty terrible husband.  His best friend is Donnie, a jew'd out Jonah Hill, joins in on the "fun" with Belfort only to wind up on the wrong side of the law just as much.  I can't help but think if this movie had been made in the 90s that the role of Donny would've gone to Joe Pesci.  Watching Belfort's rise to power, his enjoyment in power, and his downfall is some of the most entertaining filmmaking this year.

Scorsese is also very unapologitic in his depiction of Belfort's unabashed hedonism.  This is truly a no-holds-barred film.  There's more nudity in the film than a late night skinemax show, there's more drugs than a documentary about Colombia.  There are more uses of the word 'fuck' in this film than any other film in the history of film!  It's a total clusterfuck of sheer madness, yet it's so enjoyable watching these rich douchebags taking the American dream and dropping a fat deuce right on it.

Yes, at times the film can be a bit masturbatory in it's hedonistic tendencies, yet every bit seems to be as important as the next.  It's important to see that Belfort isn't an awful human being (even though he is).  He's not a bad guy (even though he is).  And his lifestyle choices and circumstances he could've easily avoided, led to his fall from power.  It's a great character study of one of the most interesting people I've ever come across.

The acting is superb as well.  I've always loved DiCaprio as an actor and there will be a time that he finally nails that Oscar.  I don't think this is the time (I think the film will just be too much for Academy voters), but again he gives a fantastic performance.  Watching the man on a bad Quaalude trip try to role himself out of a building and into his car for a solid five minutes of film, is both impressive and hilarious.   Hearing the vulgar things coming out of his mouth, watching him do unspeakable acts like snorting cocaine out of the ass of a hooker... is so un-DiCaprio that it appears as though he's really amped up his game -- a game that needed no amping whatsoever.

The biggest surprise here, however, is Jonah Hill.  As much as I want to believe that he's a one-note actor and probably a dick in person, the kid can act.  And showing your acting skills next to an acting God like DiCaprio is no easy feat.  He could've easily hammed it up with the Jew act and made his character into a caricature of the real guy, but he's actually a believable person.  You like him, even though you hate him.  He's funny, even though he's deplorable.  And he steals nearly every single scene he's in.

I loved this movie and I will watch it many more times in my life.  It's certainly not for everyone.  It could quite possibly be the most R rated film I've ever seen and some of the things Scorsese gets away with was a little astonishing.  However, it all works.  It all fits.  It's a story about a hateful person, yet you love watching this guy every second of the way.  What a perfect way to end 2013.

A

12 Years A Slave: Here Oscar, Oscar, Oscar!!!

Hey, I like a slave movie just like the next guy, but do they have to be so emotional???  Okay, yes, I understand that dealing with slavery is a lot like dealing with... well, anything slave-related and there is a significant amount of baggage that comes along with it, but it just feels that every time a movie like this is released it's more about how much of a lock for that Oscar it can be rather than telling a great story.  The story of Solomon Northup, a free man kidnapped from his family and sold into slavery for the next 12 years is a heart-wrenching and harrowing tale, but the whole time I couldn't help but feel as though each scene was shot with a picture of a gold statue in front of the director's eyes.

There are moments of prolonged camera shots that are overt and unnecessary.  The dialogue is strangely written as if it were for a play, not a movie.  Even the most uneducated slaves still speak better and more educated than most people today.  But, the performances are fantastic.  Mostly Chiwetel Ejiofor and Michael Fassbender.  Ejiofor plays Solomon, an innocent man who only wants to rejoin society as a free man and get back to his family.  Fassbender plays Edwin Epps, Solomon's malevolent slave owner.  He's a disgusting and horrid human being with a chip on his shoulder and an eye on Solomon.  Solomon's journey is a miraculous one, but one that just seems a little bit too dramatic and searching for that Best Picture announcement.  I know it's ridiculous to call a movie like this overly dramatic, but come on... it ain't no Amistad.

B

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty: Find Yourself... In The Himalayas

Ben Stiller has done something truly incredible.  He's able to show his range as a director as well as an actor and produce a very good film.  The film has gotten a lot of flack from critics, but it's undeserved.  Sure, some of the moments are forced and a bit emotionally manipulative, but it all works.  It's a beautiful film to look at with some great cinematography and a great cast.

Stiller plays Walter, a dreamer, who hasn't actually accomplished anything in his life.  He loves Cheryl played by Kristin Wiig, but is too inside his own head to even approach her.  Through some circumstances involving his job, he's off on an adventure to Greenland, Iceland, Afghanistan, the Himalayas.  During his travels, he discovers himself and realizes his life can be just as great as his dreams.  Sounds hokey?  Yeah, it does sound hokey.  But it doesn't play out that way.  This is a quaint little film that I thoroughly enjoyed and can't wait to watch again.

B+

American Hustle: Somebody's Getting Played By Everybody

Play close attention because everyone plays everyone in this film.  If you turn away for a second, you're gonna miss it.  The movie plays off like a magic trick.  Except it's not hokey.  It's not juvenile.  It's not forgotten soon after.  It plays off like real magic, with real misdirection, and real brainpower. 

American Hustle is one of the best films of the year.  Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Amy Adams, Jennifer Lawrence, and Jeremy Renner are all fantastic and at the top of their games.  Bale is a scumbag, but a very likable scumbag you actually feel sorry for (a role I've never seen him play before).  Cooper is a scumbag, but a scumbag trying to do good that you actually kinda hate.  Adams is a scumbag, but a hot scumbag that you secretly want to be with Bale.  Lawrence is a scumbag, the most vile disgusting piece of trash in the film (and she's excellent at it).  Renner is the only one in the film who I wouldn't deem a scumbag, but he's the one that gets the most screwed over.  It's a beautiful film, with sharp dialogue and a great story.

A