The To-Do List: If John Hughes Wrote About Handjobs

Losing your virginity movies were so 90s.  They became formulaic and, eventually, after American Pie, unable to recreate the magic.  So, aside from Steve Carell losing it as a 40 year old, the cherry popping comedy films of yore were rarely ever made/watched.  This is, however, until a new spin was put into the formula and a female lead was born.  How had this not been done before?  Girls want to lose their virginity too!  I guess it must've been the disbelief that a girl actually had to TRY to lose her virginity instead of just pick someone at random.  In The To-Do List Aubrey Plaza does a fine job of playing nerdy, uptight girl seeking her first D.

It's fitting that virginity movies were prominent in the 90s because The To-Do List takes place in 1993, I'm guessing as an in-joke commentary about the films themselves (as well as the fact that everyone in the movie playing 18 is well over the age of 25, something 90s movies tried to play up).  It is a little fun to see things not seen anymore like VHS tapes, landlines, and trapper keepers. Plaza plays Brandy, a straight-A, valedictorian, high school graduate virgin who deeply wants to lose her virginity to meat-head Rusty Waters.  So, in order to do so, she decides that she needs to amp up her sexual experience so that her first time isn't a train wreck.  She makes a list of everything people do sexually that will eventually lead up to her first romp in the sack.  What's great about the film is that it's filled with talented comedic actors that lend a hand to Brandy's quest. Clark Gregg plays Brandy's father, channeling his inner Stanley Tucci.  Alia Shawkat and Sarah Steele play Brandy's more sexually experienced best friends willing to lend very uncensored advice.  Rachel Bilson, in a hilarious role, plays Brandy's sister who treats sex like it's as routine as changing a shirt.  Bill Hader plays Brandy's boss at the local pool, and is arguably the funniest person in the film.  If it wasn't for Bilson and Hader, the film probably would've fallen by the wayside, but it's because of them and an assortment of other relatively known comedic actors that the film actually works.

What's nice is that Aubrey Plaza is quite believable as nerd.  She looks like an average female.  She's not an outrageously gorgeous girl who dons a pair of glasses and is suddenly a social pariah.  There's no magical She's All That transformation in the film.  In fact, her look stays the same the entire time, it's her inner confidence that's transformed.  It's not riotously funny as it should be with some of the names attached, but there is a significant amount of comedy.  What was nice to see is that nothing was held back even though there was a female lead.  Brandy is inexperienced enough in sex that she can question literally what everything is from a handy to a pearl necklace and her discoveries of each individual act leads to great comedy.  What's also convenient is that because the film is set in 1993, there is no internet to find out what each of these mean.  There was no encyclopedia entry on what motorboating is.  There is a lot of juvenile bodily fluid humor, but that's to be expected from a film like this.

What's also really cool is to see the using people for sex dynamic turned around.  Usually it's the guy using women to try and boost his sexual prowess, however this time around it's the men that are treated as objects to Brandy.  Donald Glover, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Andy Samburg... all sexual objects whose background and character development mean nothing.  They're there to give us a couple of laughs, fulfill Brandy's needs, and be on their way never to be seen again.  While there is nothing particularly original about The To-Do List, and her motivation for making the list isn't exactly that compelling or even believable, it's still a fun little summer comedy that is going to provide plenty of laughs for its audience.  What I don't understand is how badly it's going to do in the box office.  People flock to see the newest big budget explosion movie that they know in their hearts is going to suck, yet when there's a small comedy released such as this full of actors everyone knows and likes, no one makes an effort to go see it.

I doubt that it's going to be in theaters much longer, anyway, but this film is worth a look.  It's extremely crude, it's disgusting in parts, but overall it's pretty funny.  You'll be able to guess what happens in almost every scene because this obviously isn't the first of its kind, but in-between, prepare to laugh pretty heartily.

B