Most sequels don't need to be made. The key criticism in most sequel reviews are that it is "inferior to its predecessor" or "unnecessary". However, there are films that are designed to have sequels. The Fast and the Furious was, coincidentally, NOT designed to have eight freaking sequels, however after the 5th one, they finally found their working formula. 007, James Bond, on the other hand, is specifically designed for sequels. He's a secret agent who can go on any number of missions and fight any number of super villains over a 60 year period of time. Unnecessary sequels from this year include Transformers, Cars, The Nut Job, XXX, Underworld, Alien. However, not among them is Kingsman. This film was written, nay, designed to spawn sequels. Tons of 'em. It's a secret service spy agency made up of very polite and violent Englishmen. Toss in the ol' fish-outta-water, profane angsty teenager to balance out the sophistication of the rest of them and voila! you've got a franchise on your hands. However, for some reason, director Matthew Vaughn is able to give us great first films to movies that should be sequel-worthy... but can not produce anything close to capable as his/their predecessors.
The same thing happened to Vaughn with Kick-Ass (though he wasn't all the way involved with the sequel). Kick-Ass took the already tiring superhero genre and gave it a huge twist by rating it R, making it bloody as hell, having 12-year old girls drop F-bombs like they're Skittles, Nic Cage going FULL Nic Cage, etc. Without the balls of Kick-Ass, I'm not sure we'd have had Deadpool yet. Vaughn had every intention of drawing out the franchise, but turned down the offer to do Kingsman instead and handed over the director's chair to someone else (though he stayed on as Producer) and what we were given was less than impressive. We were promised the same feel as the first movie, yet the humor was lacking, the violence was boring, and the characters were the same. The best part of the second Kick-Ass was Jim Carrey and (SPOILER) he's killed off 19 minutes after we meet him. My hopes had been higher for the sequel to Kingsman. Again, Vaughn gave us something new with Kingsman. We were shown the typical spy formula, but with a different presentation. We got suave Englishmen in expensive suits using umbrellas as their weapon as well as defense. We got stylized action sequences with a fair amount of blood, and we got a significant amount of humor surrounding the story as well (that and Sam Jackson as a villain with a lisp). Where Kingsman could've felt like a YA James Bond knock-off, it was actually something fresh and new and, again, DESIGNED for sequels. But, if The Golden Circle is reflective of the quality of sequels we're going to get for Kingsman films, they might want to stop now.
Kingsman: The Golden Circle isn't a bad movie, but it's not a great one either. Currently, and it has been this way for two weeks, the film sits at exactly 50% on Rotten Tomatoes, and I believe this to be a fair assessment. I don't mean that the movie deserves an F, but I do mean that it felt like two movies. The first hour or so was damn near unwatchable, but the back hour and twenty felt like the Kingsman we wanted. The movie begins with Eggsy (Taron Egerton) walking out of the Kingsman shop, only to be stopped by a bad guy. The bad guy has a robotic arm. They wind up in a huge fight in the back of a speeding taxi. The fight, which lasts a good five minutes, utilizes some of the worst CGI I've seen in this decade. It's supposed to be reminiscent of the the style of Colin Firth's church-gun scene from the first movie, however it comes off as distracting, nauseating, and above all, incredibly FAKE looking. It took me immediately out of the movie and it's amazing no one involved in the production was able to put a stop to it. So, the film already put a bad taste in my mouth. From there Eggsy escapes the fight claiming he has a dinner he absolutely CAN NOT miss, and has to jump into shit-filled sewer water. This dinner... involves three of his friends and we are not given any clue as to why it was necessary for him to swim through shit. Not only that, but the scene wasn't humorous or plot-worthy and now I'm getting worried for the rest of the movie.
From there we're sent to our villain's lair - Poppy Land - we're given a narration from Poppy (Julianne Moore) herself, explaining to us that she's rooted in 50s nostalgia and has created her jungle lair to look like a 50s diner. She's a soft-spoken crazy bitch with a never-ending smile and it's a fun little novelty to the villain character. However, that's as much depth as her character is given. She's quirky, but evil. Literally nothing else. Here we are also introduced to her henchmen-- a couple of robot dogs. These dogs also look very fake and I'm sitting there going: what the hell is this movie? I know the first Kingsman dealt with some suspension of disbelief... but this movie is so over-the-top it's almost like it's parodying itself already. Even the President, who is supposed to reflect Trump's behavior, is so exaggerated, it's like watching a cartoon, not a movie. That's not what I want. I want another adventure that has the same Kingsman feel to it, but a different story with a different set of circumstances. For example, this is why I am totally against the upcoming Jumanji sequel. The story for the movie itself looks pretty clever and the characters and events look like they're pretty funny. But it doesn't FEEL like Jumanji. It feels like a parody. Parodying your original work in your sequel is not really ever the best idea.
Anyway, back to the discussion-- from there, Poppy, who runs the largest drug empire in the world, has decided to do away with the Kingsman organization and sends missiles to kill every Kingsman - and she does. Everyone we met and cared for involved with Kingsman is killed within the first twenty minutes of the movie... including Eggsy's pug. This upset me as well. Obviously, most people don't like it when dogs are killed in movies to begin with, but there are two factors here that made it even more upsetting. First, there's the close up of the [adorable] pug's face just as the rocket hits the building and explodes. And second, it's basically counter-intuitive to what Vaughn did with the dogs in the first film. Eggsy is given a pug. He has to train with it. He has to love it and protect it. Then, to become and actual Kingsman, he has to shoot it. He refuses to shoot the dog and fails training. Colin Firth's character explains how he shot the dog... with a blank. But for the longest time in the movie, we thought the dog was dead... only to bring it back, basically poking fun at movies that kill dogs and exposing the truth that movie audience's care more about the lives of animals in film than they do people. By killing the dog, they've completely undone whatever commentary they made in the first movie and, like everything else up until this point, it doesn't feel remotely like a Kingsman film.
From THERE, Eggsy and Merlin (Mark Strong), the only other surviving Kingsman associate, head to America to join up with the Statesmen. Once there, they meet agent Tequila (Channing Tatum), Champagne, also known as Champ (Jeff Bridges), and behind the scenes agent Ginger Ale (Halle Berry). They reveal that Colin Firth's character, Galahad, is not dead from his gunshot wound (having been revived through some made-up technology that just BARELY escapes eye-rolling), but is suffering from Amnesia. Arguably, Colin Firth's and Taron Egerton's chemistry from the first film was the best aspect of that film. We are reunited with the two, however because Galahad does not remember who he is, we don't get any of that chemistry for a majority of the film. And this is when we've reached about an hour into the film. I had almost completely done away with this movie in my mind and accepted that this was just an unbelievable misfire in a movie that was ripe for opportunity. Then, things started to turn around. It started to feel more like the first movie. It started having more fun with the action and getting more creative. The jokes in the first half that didn't make sense or that fell flat were starting to hit again. The relationships started coming together and the chemistry between certain people started connecting and the last hour felt, indeed, like a fun Kingsman movie. The final thirty minutes is all action, but it's the best thirty minutes of the entire movie. It's like they could do no wrong after having been unable to do no right in the first half. It really is two polar opposites residing in the same film. By the end, I felt like I had enjoyed the entirety of the movie because it ended so strongly. It was only after a bit of reflection that I realized the first half was garbage.
So, what do I make of Kingsman: The Golden Circle? It's good if you're patient enough to wade through the muck and the slop of the first hour of the movie. Unfortunately, you can't jump in to the story an hour late, either because there are key plot points that are set up for the end, but if you can make it through the first part, the second part of the movie is an absolute blast and joy to watch. And, I'm sorry if you didn't already know, but Elton John is in the movie in an extended cameo role, and is arguably the best part of any moment of any Kingsman movie ever made. I could watch two solid hours of Elton John telling people to "Fuck off!"
C
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