Into The Storm: It Sucks!... Get It?

The good news here is that all of you know that Into the Storm was going to suck.  All of you.  Not one of you thought it genuinely looked like a decent movie.  There may have been some who thought they could bypass all the shit and just watch the tornado destruction.  I advise against this.  Strongly.  Into the Storm is what happened when a seven year old went and watched Twister, then immediately went home and wrote his own tornado movie.  Then, he waited 18 years and finally submitted it... the unabridged childhood version... to a major movie studio... they paid for it, filmed it, distributed it, and released it all in it's unedited glory.  This is a movie written by a seven year old for five year olds.  Plain and simple.  It's awful.

We are given nothing to work with in this movie.  First, it's a found-footage disaster film.  This gimmick is getting sooooo tired.  I still sigh when i hear another movie is going this route.  It doesn't work.  At all anymore.  In fact, in a film that people only go to see for the effects, found footage is the worst way to go.  We are also give stock characters.  No.  I take that back.  They're not stock characters.  These "characters" are written so poorly that stock characters are even going, "Jesus Christ, are you serious?"  The acting is so bad that three or so characters blended together for me that I couldn't keep track of them... and they weren't even the same race.  The star of the movie is literally "that guy who was the doctor in The Hangover."

As a filmmaker I'd have to assume it must be just as difficult to make a movie as bad and poorly made like this one, as it is to make an Academy Award winning film.  It's not laziness or ineptitude.  People genuinely have to TRY to make a movie this bad.  And, let's be honest here, disaster movies have never been written well, but there have been great ones.  Twister is a classic.  The Day After Tomorrow, The Poseidon Adventure, even 2012 had more going for it than this messy heap.  There was something about the actors, I guess, back in the day (the 90s) that made people give a shit.  I watch Dante's Peak mainly for the volcano exploding and the death and mayhem, but I also care if the main characters live or die.  Even the prick boss who gets it late in the film, I felt bad about.  This movie... wow... they couldn't kill them as fast as I wanted.  I think actually you only get to see  two deaths.  Only two.  And they're stupid.  Obviously.

You weren't going to see it anyway.  But, if there's still that slight notion in your mind...

D-