Schindler's List. The Hurt Locker. The Shawshank Redemption. Forrest Gump. These are great movies. These are Academy Award winning/nominated films. They have great writing, great acting, great directing and the works. They also have an agenda. Sure, part of it is to entertain, but a lot of it has to do with grabbing that gold. A lot of the people involved with those movies would probably say they did it because it "needed to be told" or that they were doing something "important". And don't get me wrong. A few of those are some of my favorite movies of all time. You know what else joins that list, though? Commando. Kindergarten Cop. True Lies. Cliffhanger. Crank. Death Race. Films that by an Academy standard or a critical standpoint are more frowned upon than anything. I love film. I love all film. Yes, there are terrible movies out there. There are probably more bad movies than good ones, but certain films know what the goal is to achieve. Sometimes that's the Oscar. And sometimes it's about giving an audience one hell of a fun ride. That's what Escape Plan does and succeeds mightily in doing.
I can not believe that it took THIS long to get the two biggest action stars of the 80s and 90s in a movie together. And, no, The Expendables doesn't count. These guys are the reason that these skinny, ripped, pretty boys today are failing in reviving the action genre. There's a reason we'd rather watch 60-year-old Arnie, or Sly, or even Liam Neeson nut-punch someone to death than watching Alex Pettyfer, Taylor Kitsch, or Jason Momoa types Justin-Beiber their way around an action film. I like Sylvester Stallone, he's entertaining, but I've always been more of a Schwarzenegger fan. Stallone's movies kick ass, but he doesn't have the personality of Ah-nuld. He doesn't have that sweet German wit. But, putting these two in a film together... come on. Genius.
Like most Stallone and/or Schwarzenegger films, the plot isn't all that important. Sly is an expert prison breaker-outer. He can break out of any prison. Until... he's thrown into this new high-tech prison and set up by someone on the outside so that it's impossible for him to break out. Enter: Schwarzenegger with a badass goatee. The two team up to take down the whole prison and escape back to sweet, sweet freedom. Now, I gotta hand it to whoever took the reigns on this movie. This could've very easily been a straight-to-DVD junk film with no brains and no fun. Though, at times, it does lack the brains, the fun is always present. And even the brains don't disappear to far. The escape plan that they come up with... it's a good escape plan. It's easy to follow and actually a bit creative. There's even a slight twist at the end that, I'll admit, I probably should've seen coming, but I didn't. It hooked me from the beginning and I stayed hooked right up until the end. Sure, everyone knows how it's going to end, but getting there is the fun part.
What's also strange is that there are some good actors in the movie too. They're all severely underused, but in a movie with these two hulking bad-guy-nightmares, I don't actually care to watch anyone else. Amy Ryan, Vincent D'Onofrio, Sam Neill, Jim Caviezel... all underutilized. But it doesn't matter. It's flattering to know that they liked the script so much that they were willing to lend a brief hand in giving it a shred of credibility. The best part is that these guys look like they're having fun. Sly treads a little more on the serious side, but Schwarzzy is hamming it up, making it look like the most fun he's ever had on a film set. The man is still at the top of his game.
Yes, it's a half-mindless popcorn flick that will only become a classic to the select few cult Arnold or Sly followers, but damn if it isn't two hours of fun. Ten years from now no one is going to even remember this movie was made, but for now, relish in the fact that these guys can still do this. I'll admit that watching these classical dinosaurs still try and whomp young ass does give me a bit of a tingly feeling in my pants, but it may, MAY, I say, border on embarrassing. So, while they're still *cough* young... go out and enjoy a film that will make you forget the drudges of life and remind you a simpler time when action movies reigned supreme. The 80s.
Ah shit.
B
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