Admission: Safer Than An Airbag, Child Locks, A Rape Whistle, And A Crossing Guard Put Together

Admission is a bike helmet.  It's the password on your email.  It's checking your blind spot before merging.  It's a 12 pack of Trojan condoms, without ever using them.  It's driving with All-State.  It's a panic room.  It's using EHarmony instead of meeting someone in real life.  It's ordering a meal at a restaurant that you've had before instead of trying something new.  Admission is the safest movie you could go see.  I don't mean that you're not taking a chance by seeing it, because, well, you're not, I suppose.  But, at the hands of the writer/director/stars of the film took literally no chances to do something new.  And without such impressive star names like Paul Rudd and Tina Fey, this movie probably would've slipped in and out of theaters without so much as consideration from Joe Moviegoer.  Granted, it's doing pretty terribly in the box office, it's still not the worst thing out in theaters right now (Have you seen Tyler Perry's Temptation?).  Unfortunately, those involved with the film decided early on that they'd rather be safe than sorry good.

Admission tells the story of Portia Nathan, a Princeton Admissions Officer who runs into an old friend from college (Paul Rudd) who tells her of a brilliant aspiring college student she ought to put up for consideration, but might also be her son.  There's everything you'd expect of a reliable rom-com.  Of course, Portia is up for a big promotion and recommending this kid, who's had a not-so-stellar past, may prevent her from getting it.  She also has a boyfriend who she finds boring, but she meets Paul Rudd's character who is everything she's not.  She's a boring home-body, he's funny, outgoing and a world traveler.  Opposites attract, opposites clash, opposites separate, opposites reunite at the end.  Oops.  My bad.  Spoiler alert.  Seriously, that's how safe this movie is.  Now, I'm not saying it would've been a better movie if they hadn't gotten together at the end, but, with the talent put together to bring this film to fruition, you'd expect a bit more originality and punch.

I saw this movie a little less than a week ago and I'm having just a little bit of trouble remembering specifics.  I can't remember any jokes.  I can't remember any lines or moments that stood out.  But, I didn't hate it.  It was an hour and a half distraction from the real world, but nothing great enough to suck me into a new world.  The experience will probably go something like this: it begins, you're interested, you're wondering why you aren't laughing as much, you like Lily Tomlin as Tina Fey's mom, you find Paul Rudd's character a little strange, you realize the Michael Sheen/Tina Fey plotline is humorous, but stupid, you check your watch to see how much time is left, you start to predict each upcoming scene, you're almost entirely correct, you are happy to see that everything works out, you stand up at the closing credits, you briefly discuss that you thought it was 'cute', you put the movie out of your mind for a long time, you stop by a Redbox later this year, you can't remember if you saw Admission or not, you decide to pass.

There's certainly worse out there right now.  And if it's date night, why not take a chance to giggle and make out to something that won't ruin your budding relationship one night stand.  If you're a fan of seatbelts and oven mitts, you may actually find something magical about Admission, but if you like to live life on the edge, there may be a lot lacking for you here.

C