The Grand Budapest Hotel: Or, How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Lobby Boy

Wes Anderson has always had a way of telling a story in the same visceral way, with the same voice inflections, the same monotonic deadpan delivery, and still be able to make completely different movies.  The characters from any of his films could all be from the same universe as one another, related by blood even, and this wouldn't be a stretch.  They all have the same mannerisms and way of speaking.  They all have the knack of getting themselves into self-destructive situations that merit nothing short of a grandiose gesture to whomever has been wronged in order to find inner peace.  And yet, they are all very distinguishable characters in very distinguishable films.  Moonrise Kingdom isn't The Darjeeling Limited isn't Life Aquatic isn't Royal Tenenbaums.  Yet, pop any one of these films on and you'll notice the roll/tracking shots that permeate throughout the films.  You'll notice the theme of a central, quirky color pattern.  You'll notice the rapid pace each character talks to one another, seemingly without blinking or expressing any emotion.  Yet, you'll fall in love with each film and the characters that occupy them.

This time, Anderson has gone with a story of the past told by numerous versions of one author through certain points in time.  Tom Wilkinson tells us his tale as the oldest version of himself.  A younger version of the same author, Jude Law, learns the story from the owner of the hotel, F. Murray Abraham, who experiences the story as a young lobby boy working for the concierge (Ralph Fiennes) at the Grand Budapest Hotel.  Fiennes plays Gustave, a respected concierge who favors the elderly women at his hotel, yet still provides the perfect service to any guest who happens to frequent the hotel.  Most travelers, in fact, stay at the hotel due to Gustave himself.  Zero (newcomer Tony Revolori) is the hotel's newest Lobby Boy, or protégée to Gustave.  Gustave takes Zero under his wing and teaches him about running the finest hotel in the world.  During this time, one of Gustave's frequent elderly "visitors" (Tilda Swinton) is mysteriously murdered.  The morning before her death she signed a brand new will leaving a priceless painting "Boy With Apple" to Gustave.  This incites anger in her son (Adrien Brody) and his ruthlessly violent henchman (Willem Dafoe) who set out to frame Gustave for her murder.

It's a comedic caper somewhat reminiscent of older Peter Sellers comedies.  Now, granted, Sellers would have to color-up his films, jerk himself off to post-modern arthouse comedies, and become an incredibly self-aware film hipster... but it's still close.  Anderson has established himself enough as a competent director that he's able to mess with his own unique film conventions.  He's able to take the crime caper and the whodunit and turn it into something smart, quirky, dark and fun, while never really forsaking the Wes Anderson-isms that have become the staple of the director.

The Grand Budapest Hotel, like most of Anderson's films, is one that will require multiple viewings in order to catch every laugh and nuance.  Ralph Fiennes is fantastic as the extremely dry and British Gustave.  But, it's Zero who truly steals the show.  He's a great kid who fits perfectly in the purple and pink pastel world Anderson has created.  He's able to elicit a laugh without even moving a facial muscle.  Much like Owen Wilson, Jason Schwartzman, and Bill Murray before him I hope he becomes a repeat player of future Anderson films.  Past favorites make appearances as well.  It's like Anderson has found niche roles for Willem Dafoe to play in which only he can execute perfectly.  And anyone who can bring Jeff Goldblum out for any cinematic appearance already has my support.

The film itself is quite quirky, and very fun.  It's a goofy movie for smart people.  I'm hesitant to recommend it to everyone because it's very Wes Anderson-y and if you're not privy to his previous work and style, then I'm not sure it can be fully appreciated.  However, I also believe that most people should have the minimal brain capacity it takes in order to appreciate a great film, so I guess I'll go out on a limb and say that everyone should make a little effort to see the film.  More than once.  I, personally, can't wait to see it again.  If not for the acting, the laughs, the wit, or the starpower... it's probably the most aesthetically pleasing movie you'll see all year.

A-

Big Peck's Cineflex Awards Edition II: Oscar Winner Predictions

Alright... wasn't too on point last year on who was going to win and this year is an even bigger crapshoot.  I mean, even the Best Picture category could honestly go to half the nominees.  There were many, many great performances and there's really no clear winner in hardly any category.  So, I guess I have just as much of a guess as anyone.  So, here's what the Cineflex believes will win each category.

Best Picture:

American Hustle
Captain Phillips
Dallas Buyers Club
Gravity
Her
Nebraska 
Philomena
12 Years A Slave
The Wolf of Wall Street

What a vanilla year it was for movies.  Yes, there are a few on here that were genuinely good films, but not all of them I believe earned a spot on the list.  Inside Llewyn Davis, I thought, was better than Philomena, but it was a quaint little film and the Academy are a bunch of old biddies that only put The Wolf of Wall Street on there for fear of flak they would receive from moviegoers.  Scorsese was also probably a big influence just by having his name attached to it.

What's Going To Win: 12 Years A Slave
What Should Win: Gravity

Okay, so The Wolf of Wall Street was my favorite movie of the year, but there ain't no chance in Hell they're going to choose a movie like that.  Nebraska and Her were quiet, but fantastic films, especially the former which was an incredible low-budget film.  The three front-runners of the group, however, are American Hustle, Gravity, and 12 Years A Slave.  Any one of them could win and it wouldn't be a surprise.  While American Hustle was a very good movie, I just don't think it was the best film of the year.  I'll actually be very disappointed if 12 Years wins because it's a manipulative movie that was MADE to win Best Picture.  That's it.  No other reason for the film's existence.  It's not a bad movie, but it's goal from the very beginning was to beat out anything else for Best Picture.  The true best movie of the year was Gravity.  It's visual effects were stunning, the performances were amazing, and it was the most tense I've been in a theater in a good long while.  Movies like that are the reasons we go to movies.

Best Actor:

Christian Bale (American Hustle)
Bruce Dern (Nebraska)
Leonardo DiCaprio (The Wolf of Wall Street)
Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years A Slave)
Matthew McConaughey (Dallas Buyers Club)

This is a year where anyone of these guys could win and it would be deserved.  I mean, this is a category that was so stacked that Tom freakin' Hanks didn't even make the cut for two movies where he could've (and should've) been nominated.  Congrats to anyone who takes home the gold.

Who's Going To Win: Matthew McConaughey
Who Should Win: Leonardo DiCaprio

Let's face it... Leo needs that win.  The guy puts out Academy Award winning movies and performances year after year after year.  He will eventually get the win, but it's crazy that he's even had to wait this long.  The guy is one of the best actors in Hollywood.  Yes, I understand McConaughey has had a recent resurgence in his films from the rom-com pit he was trapped in for so long, but Leo was insanely good!  The other nominees were great, but it's time Leo got the nod.  There's even a slight chance that due to his old age that Dern could take the W, but I think big Mattie is a lock.

Best Actress:

Cate Blanchett (Blue Jasmine)
Sandra Bullock (Gravity)
Amy Adams (American Hustle)
Judi Dench (Philomena)
Meryl Streep (August: Osage County)

Are any of these names that surprising? Yeah, they were all good in their respective films, but they're pretty much the Best Actress staples of Hollywood.  Didn't have to think too hard outside the box for these nominees.  It's a tough race, and it looks like Streep's obligatory nomination is still in tact, but a winner may be a little bit tougher to choose.

Who's Going To Win: Cate Blanchett
Who Should Win: Sandra Bullock

Hear me out on this one.  Okay, I understand that Blanchett's performance was amazing in Blue Jasmine, but I haven't seen it yet.  I have, however, seen Gravity and Bullock's performance was something beyond incredible.  I have never been a fan of Sandra Bullock, and even I was won over by her portrayal of a scared and alone astronaut floating through the vastness of space with limited oxygen.  The other three... they really don't have a chance here.  Blanchett is ultimately a lock for this category, but I'd love to see Bullock pull it out.

Best Supporting Actor:

Barkhad Abdi (Captain Phillips)
Bradley Cooper (American Hustle)
Michael Fassbender (12 Years A Slave)
Jared Leto (Dallas Buyers Club)
Jonah Hill (The Wolf of Wall Street)

I'd have to say minus the Bradley Cooper nomination, the Best Supporting Actor category is just as strong as the Best Actor category.  Everyone turned in outstanding performances.  There is something special about the Best Supporting Category that, for the last few years, has been reserved for outstanding villain portrayals.  Fassbender would fit that role here, or even Abdi, but it doesn't look like either will take it this year.

Who's Going To Win: Jared Leto
Who Should Win: Jared Leto

How sad is it that the lead singer of a shitty band was one of the best actors of 2013? Abdi, for his first movie, turned in one Hell of a performance as the leader of the Somali pirates.  Jonah Hill was amazing, but he's just too much of a wild card to win.  It's Leto that is the clear winner here.  No one else really has a chance.  And while Cooper was good in his role, it wasn't anything remarkable like the other four aforementioned nominees.  Let's give it to Leto, even though he's a bit of a stain on American entertainment.

Best Supporting Actress:

Sally Hawkins (Blue Jasmine)
Jennifer Lawrence (American Hustle)
Lupita Nyong'o (12 Years A Slave)
Julia Roberts (August: Osage County)
June Squibb (Nebraska)

Meh.  Could there be a less interesting five people to be nominated for Best Supporting Actress??  The problem here is, looking back on all the films released, I can't think of anyone left out.  There just weren't a lot of roles that stood out for supporting women.  And while I believe there is a lock for this category, it's not like last year's Anne Hathaway lock.

Who's Going To Win: Lupita Nyong'o
Who Should Win: June Squibb

Haha! Yeah, sure, whatever.  Squibb was hilarious in Nebraska!  I know none of you saw the movie, but she cracked me up!  Nothing against Nyong'o, but I just had such a problem with 12 Years A Slave.  I mean, how did that movie manipulate all the Academy heads so effectively and The Butler just kind of came and went?  I mean, at least that shit had Oprah!  They were both Oscar bait movies with Oscar bait performances.  I wouldn't actually mind of Jennifer Lawrence won.  I know she won last year for Actress, but she was amazingly awful in American Hustle.  I couldn't stand her character.  That's the sign of a great actress.  Also, considering that most of her dialogue was improvised adds a little bit of umph to the role.

Best Director:

Alfonso Cuaron (Gravity)
David O. Russell (American Hustle)
Alexander Payne (Nebraska)
Steve McQueen (12 Years A Slave)
Martin Scorsese (The Wolf of Wall Street)

Safe picks all around.  Actually, I take that back.  I really like that Alexander Payne got the nom over other likely and safe choices like Spike Jonze or Paul Greengrass or the Coen Brothers (who really deserved to get nominated).  But, the rest were very safe picks because 2013 was a very safe year for film.

Who's Going To Win: Steve McQueen
Who Should Win: Alfonso Cuaron

I'm just playing the odds here.  More times than not, the film that wins Best Picture is also attached to the person who wins Best Director.  So, if my prediction that 12 Years is going to win, then maniuplative puppeteer Steve McQueen will also get the win.  However, what Cuaron did with Gravity is unparalleled.  It's never been done before.  It is the most visually amazing and stimulating film I've ever seen.  It beat the small blue dick right off of Avatar.  He's the most deserved to win, but, alas, I feel as though he will be overlooked.

Other Predictions:

Best Animated Film:
What's Going To Win: Frozen
What Should Win: Frozen

Best Original Screenplay: 
What's Going To Win: Her
What Should Win: Her

Best Adapted Screenplay:
What's Going To Win: 12 Years A Slave
What Should Win: The Wolf of Wall Street

Consensus...

It looks like the year of the slave.  Wait... can I say that?  It's my blog, screw it.  If it were me running the Oscars, the nominations and winners would look much different.  Leo would have a statue, the best movie would actually win best movie.  But, a lot like 2012, it was such a bland year for films.  Nothing that gritty or overwhelming came out.  There were hardly any locks this year for winners.  I've seen a list of a lot of films coming out this year... and let's hope we get, at least, one or two movies that remind us why going to the movies is the greatest thing to do.

Upcoming Best and Worst of Spring 2014

BEST UPCOMING:

2/7
The Lego Movie

 
















Yeah, it's a kid's movie, but come on... it looks kinda funny.  It'll be entertaining and creative at the very least.  There have been much worse movies to come out in Hollywood's toilet that is January and February.  This is one that should be hard to screw up.

2/28

Non-Stop

 
















Look, when I say Best Upcoming, I don't mean like Oscar-worthy.  I just mean some awesome movies coming out that look fun and entertaining.  And who doesn't want to see Liam Neeson kicking terrorist plane ass??  It's Taken on a plane.  With Liam Neeson.  It's going to be a lot of fun, regardless of plot or lack thereof.  Did I mention Liam Neeson is in it?

 3/7

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Ever since Moonrise Kingdom left theaters I have been anxiously awaiting the release of this film.  It looks like it could literally be his best film yet.  He's put together the most epic cast and the quirkiness of it seems off the charts.  I could fall in love with this film very quickly, methinks.

3/21

Muppets Most Wanted

 
















The resurgence of the Muppets by Jason Segal was a very wanted and successful endeavor.  Of course they were going to make a sequel.  If it's anything like the original, it's going to be fantastic.  Yes, this one looks a little bit more slapstick, but that's what the Muppets were always about.  I mean, come on, who hates the Muppets?  Did I mention Liam Neeson is in it??  Oh, wait... that was another one.

3/21

Bad Words

 
















I'm not entirely convinced that this will be one of the best... but I'm willing to give it a shot.  It's like the Bad Santa of spelling bee competitions starring a very likable actor we don't get to hear a lot of foul stuff come from.  He's also directed it too.  That puts it in the positive in my book.

3/28

Sabotage

 
















Screw you guys.  It's Arnold!!!  It's a movie that doesn't look like complete balls either.  It's a respected director, a respected writer... and Arnold!!!  It will be awesome.  No argument.  It will.

4/4

Dom Hemingway

This movie looks off the wall batshit crazy.  It looks like a blast to watch. Plus, Jude Law has been a bit AWOL the last few years, I'm going to go ahead and trust the dude with his triumphant return to film.  Watch this trailer.

4/17

Transcendence

 
















Yes, it looks a little on the strange side, but together all the factors.  It's produced by Christopher Nolan.  It's directed by Nolan's longtime cinematographer Wally Pfister.  It's Johnny Depp taking a break from Tim Burton and Pirates.  It's probably going to be awesome!


WORST UPCOMING:

2/14

RoboCop

This movie is going to suck.  A shitty-CGI'd PG-13 remake of a movie that isn't even that good to begin with that looks almost identical to the remake of Total Recall.  I'm calling bust on this clunker.

2/14

A Winter's Tale

 
















Yawwwwn.  Boringgggg.  Snoooooooze.  Who is actually going to go see this?  When do period pieces like this ever get good money?  Sorry Farrell (and special cameo Will Smith), this looks like a piece of Valentine's Day trash.

2/14

Endless Love

 
















Yes!!! Another sappy/crappy 80s movie remake with no named pretty people that anyone with half of half of a brain can tell is going to reek of shit!  You're better than this, Hollywood.

2/21

Pompeii

 
















Yes, it's probably true that this movie is going to have some cool special effects and some cool scenes involving the volcano.  And usually I'm totally down with that as long as I get some good actors hamming it up a bit.  Nope.  No-name pretty faced, muscular douchebags that wouldn't be believable nowadays, much less back then.  It's sappy volcano crap that should've just been called Endless Pompeii Love.

2/28

Welcome To Yesterday

 
















Way to rip off a good movie like Chronicle, Hollywood.  Trying to capitalize on the same no-named teens, found footage movie with super powers like time traveling or whatever?  Guess what.  It ain't gonna work.  You're lucky we all liked Chronicle.  Stick with the sequel to that one.  Leave us alone for now.

2/7

300: Rise of an Empire

 
















300 without Gerard Butler???  With crappy B-movie actors and green screen effects that are already outdated and worthless?  Please explain to me why I should give any of my money to a movie that shouldn't have a sequel or one that took ten years to come out??  Nope.  Don't be fooled, people.  This movie is going to blow donkey sack.

3/14

Need For Speed

 
















The only thing this Fast and Furious ripoff has going for it is that people really like Aaron Paul and miss him from their screens.  It will probably do well at the box office the first weekend of its release and word of mouth will spread on how bad it truly is and it'll fizzle like every car movie from now until 2034 that tries to snag a little bit of that Furious cash.

4/18

A Haunted House 2

 
















Do I really have to explain myself on this one??

Nebraska: Days Go By

Nebraska is the type of film that you've heard about.  You've seen previews for it and think that it might be good and then set it out of your mind.  It's the film you see was nominated for Best Picture at the Academy Awards and think, "yeah, well, it's black and white, no surprise there."  But, you don't ever really make an effort to go and see.  This is a mistake.  Nebraska is one of the best films I've seen in a while and had I seen it in a timely manner would, most certainly, have made my list of Best Movies of 2013.  I know it has essentially zero chance of winning, but the Academy would do well to pick this film as a winner.

For those who decided to give this little blurb a read even though you're not sure what movie this is... it's about an elderly father, Woody (Bruce Dern) who is slowly losing his mind to dementia.  He's the kind of guy who's coasted through life making small impacts on people's lives with a favor here or a buck there and then disappearing altogether.  Yet, that kindness has kind of manifested itself into passivity for Woody.  He's unable to care about much around him at any given moment.  That is until he receives a piece of junk mail telling him he's won $1,000,000 and all he has to do is go down to Lincoln, Nebraska and claim his cash.  Unable to drive himself, and with everyone else trying to convince him that it's a scam, Woody has it in his mind that he's a winner.  He becomes a nuisance to his family and to the town as he's repeatedly picked up on the side of the highway trying to walk the 600 plus miles to Nebraska.  Finally, in order to get his father to quit trying to escape alone, Woody's son David (Will Forte) agrees to drive him to Nebraska.

Once there, they stop in Woody's home town where Woody becomes a, sort of, local legend because of his winnings.  Woody's always been a stand up guy and when he says that he's won a million bucks, the town trusts him.  Unfortunately that means for David that no one believes it is a sham.  Suddenly, old townsfolk, relatives, friends of friends end up hitting Woody up for money because they know that this simple old man was never one to put up a fight.  It's an amazing character study of a man who's whole life was spent as a simpleton and the way that he affected those around him.  I mean, Woody only wants the money in order to buy a new truck (which he can't even drive) and an air compressor (due to the fact that his was stolen from him in 1974).  That's it.  He's a simple man with simple ambition and a vulnerability that could easily be taken advantage of if it weren't for David or his hilariously brash wife, Kate (June Squibb).

If it wasn't for Bruce Dern's incredibly performance of Woody, it would be June Squibb who steals the show, and she nearly does in every scene.  She's everyone's neurotic and unfiltered grandmother rolled into one short, chubby little lady.  She has a way about her that is so impetuous and so hard-nosed, yet you can tell that past her hard exterior is a woman who truly loves her husband and her family and will tell anyone to "go fuck themselves" if they say otherwise.  She's a joy to watch.  And as sad as it is to see a confused old man trying to walk his way to Nebraska to pick up a prize you know isn't going to be there, Woody is also a joy to watch.  Will Forte, in his first serious role doesn't disappoint, either.  He's very collected and very believable and very loving towards his father.

Director Alexander Payne and first-time screenwriter Bob Nelson have truly collaborated on a masterpiece.  The slow pace and black and white viewing of the film plays out much like a fine piece of literature.  It's heartfelt, it's sad, it's funny, and it's one of the best pieces of filmmaking I've seen.  It would be a shame to let this one pass you by.

A

August: Osage County: Southern Discomfort

This film is the very definition of schadenfreude-- taking pleasure from the pain of others.  Not one single person in August: Osage County has something good and healthy going for them.  Every member of the family is either a sniveling little brat, an egocentric southern prick, a know-it-all, a self-destructive hate monger, etc.  The list goes on and on.  You'd think by sitting through two full hours of arguing and negativity you'd leave with a bad taste in your mouth and the surprising thing is-- you don't.  Putting aside the amazing performances by two stellar actresses, Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep, it's difficult to watch this family's lives swirl ever so swiftly down the drain of life.  Yet, it's also quite enjoyable as well. 

When Weston family patriarch Beverly (Sam Shepard) goes missing, pill-popping, verbally abusive matriarch Violet (Streep) calls in the family for help and support.  The first to arrive are Violet's sister Mattie Fae, her husband Charlie (Chris Cooper) and their son, Little Charles (Benedict Cumberbatch).  Next, comes Violet's daughter Barbara (Roberts), her now separated husband Bill (Ewan McGregor), and their daughter Jean (Abigail Breslin).  Violet's daughter, Ivy (Julianne Nicholson) is the only daughter not to have left Oklahoma arrives.  And finally, Violet's last daughter Karen (Juliette Lewis) arrives with her new fiance Steve (Dermot Mulroney).  Strong personalities clash as the family engages in fight after fight after fight with their hateful and mean spirited mother.  Violet and Barbara butt heads the most because Barbara is slowly starting to realize that she is, in fact, her mother.  She's slowly turned into the one thing on the planet she hates.  Barbara and Violet both butt heads with Karen as she's aloof to the entire situation, flaunting around a new beau in the midst of a family tragedy.  Barbara and Bill butt heads as they've separated on their way to divorce because of Bill's past infidelity-- but it isn't surprising considering the kind of hatefulness Barbara exudes.  Mattie Fae butts heads with Violet and Charles and Little Charles because she's a snappy little busy body with a comment about everything.  Over the course of a few days the family slowly but surely realizes that they all hate each other, and that their hate breeds more hate.

This is why everyone, minus Ivy, has left Violet.  They've all taken their escape from the house that hate built to start anew.  And over the course of the visit they each manage to one-by-one make their escapes again.  Finally, it ends just as it began: Violet and old, spite-filled curmudgeon all alone and Barbara wondering if she's fully turned into her own mother or if there's still any hope left for her.  The answer remains a mystery.  The movie is written by Pulitzer Prize winner Tracy Letts, who also penned the play the film is based on.  He's known for two other films: Killer Joe and Bug, which if you've seen either, you know that this is not a happy, take the whole family to the movies kind of film.  It's also directed by John Wells, one of the creators of the Showtime series Shameless, which if you've seen even five minutes of that show should be an indication of what kind of film you're about to see.

The performances are off the charts, however.  It's one powerhouse performance after another.  Because it's based off a stage play, it is very dialogue heavy and when two of these actors enter the same scene together, there's nothing but magic happening.  Meryl Streep, unarguably the greatest actress of all time, plays Violet as a disgustingly hateful woman, but one that you can't help but pity.  You'll watch her ostracize everyone in her family, yet sit back and feel bad for her instead of entirely loathe her.  Julia Roberts, an actress I'm not particularly fond of, kills it!  She's just as bad as Violet, yet illicits the same reaction from the audience, probably even more filled with pity.  You can tell she's this way because of how her mother has treated her all her life.  She doesn't want to be her mother but the harder she struggles against it, the more like her she becomes.

The film can get a slight repetitive with fight after fight after argument after argument, but that's where writer Letts gives us our glimmer of hope in the family with Chris Cooper's Charlie.  The man is the complete antithesis of Violet.  He's kind, he's caring, he's all about second chances and he despises it when he has to sit back and watch his family (one he's not even related to by blood) tear themselves apart from the inside out.  He's the one shining light in the black hole that is the Weston family.

If you have difficulty watching films where most of the characters are generally unlikable, then it may be hard for you to connect with any part of August: Osage County.  If nothing else, it's a great film for actors to watch in order to see acting perfection on screen.  This kind of cast doesn't culminate into film very often, but when something like this comes along, it's truly a delight to watch.

B+

The 11 Best and Worst Movies of 2013

Man, did 2013 suck or what??  Terrible terrible year.  Especially for movies.  And, what's weird is that it wasn't like there were an abundance of bad movies either (granted there were like eight Tyler Perry movies this year) this was just the year of the unexceptional movie.  There was nothing gritty like the Django's of last year or The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo of 2012 or even The Social Network or The Fighter of 2011.  Nothing that came out this year was that solid (ooh ooh best movie of the year right there) moment.  It felt like nothing had enough balls to do so.  Even the film that I rank as the best movie of 2013 probably would've barely made top 5 from last year.  So, I give you the eleven best and ten worst movies.  Enjoy!!!

Now, I do have to admit that there are a few films that I wasn't able to see that could've possibly made the list.  Most notably I didn't see the now Oscar nominated Dallas Buyers Club, Nebraska or Philomena.  I will make an effort to get a hold of these films so that I can accurately review them for you.  On to number 11!!!

The Top 11 BEST FILMS of 2013:

11. Inside Llewyn Davis

 











The Coens have done it again.  A dark comedy full of heartache and whimsy.  A lead character you both hate and root for.  A soundtrack worth the price of admission alone.  It's one of the quieter Coen brothers films but in a year of underwhelming movies, this movie stood out to me.  Even though I didn't catch all of the symbolism or parallels or allusions or metaphors or anything else the Coens tend to cram into their movies, I was able to watch a great film and reflect on the moments that meant the most to me.  I'll be watching this movie many times again, catching new things with each viewing.  Wonderful film.
Review here.

10. The Conjuring

 











I feel as though I may get a little bit of hate for this one.  In typical movie standards, no, it probably wouldn't normally make a general list.  However, as far as horror movies go, it was near perfect.  In a time when torture, blood, guts, and jump scares reign supreme... one director has decided to go back to the roots of horror and try to scare the living piss out of you without hardly showing you a thing.  I was terrified nearly the entire time and the danger was only alluded to.  It was one of the most frightening experiences in a theater I've ever had and there's almost no blood in it.  The film was rated R for being too scary.  That says something.  Those who love watching movies where the killer is a masked man with a machete gutting teenagers is going to hate it.  But those who love a good old-fashioned tension-filled thriller will agree that The Conjuring deserves to be on this list.
Review here.

9. Hunger Games: Catching Fire 

 











You gotta hand it to the people behind this movie franchise.  How many young adult novels have been adapted since Harry Potter and Twilight exploded that were actually good??  Not that Twilight was any good... because we all know that it's the equivalent of a cinematic septic tank.  But, what's great about The Hunger Games, something that worked really well in the Harry Potter franchise is that it doesn't feel like it's only catering to kids.  They abide by the rating, but they tell the story in it's full emotional effect.  If it's violent, then there's violence.  If it's a scary situation, then you're going to be scared.  I hadn't enjoyed a movie like this in a long while.  It was fun to watch and exciting to see where it's heading.  It has fully matured upon it's predecessor and looks as though we're going to be in for one hell of a fun ride during the finale.  Hunger Games: Catching Fire was most certainly one of my favorite movies of the year.
Review here.

8. TIE!!  Don Jon/Her

I couldn't choose between these two movies, and I figured since they both feature a great performance by Scarlett Johannson, they might as well go together.  Don Jon showed us a man who is a true player, addicted to porn, unable to truly love... fall in love.  The way that he deals with these feelings, while struggling to rid himself of his addiction is truly remarkable.  On the other side of the coin, Her shows us a shy, down on his luck guy, addicted to his computer, fall in love... with his computer.  The way that he deals with these feelings as well as those around him, while struggling to rid himself of the hurt from his past and finally love again is also truly remarkable.  Both of these films are highly recommended romantic comedies.
Review here and here.

7. American Hustle

This is a movie I'll really need to see a few more times to fully follow everything that happens in it.  If you look away for only a second, it's going to get you lost.  If you stayed glued to the screen the entire time... chances are you'll feel like you still missed something.  That's the beauty of the film.  It's a con.  It's a con for everyone.  Even the writer was conned out of his script.  Most of the dialogue in the film was improvised by the actors.  This is exactly what talent is.  American Hustle is the embodiment of true Hollywood talent.
Review here.

6. The World's End

 










While This Is The End was probably the most laugh-out-loud comedy of 2013, The World's End is probably the smartest comedy of 2013.  While the whole movie isn't side-splittingly funny, the concept of each scene is hilarious.  There are a lot of laugh out loud moments, but it's a British movie, too.  So, it's a bit of a thinker.  This is also a movie (much like the Simon Pegg/Nick Frost/Edgar Wright movies of the past) that needs to be viewed several more times in order to pick up the subtle jokes and call backs that are sprinkled in throughout the film.  The final entry in the Blood and Ice Cream trilogy is a perfect and worthy conclusion.
Review here.

5. Mud

 









Words can hardly express how great this movie is.  It's a beautiful film full of rich characters and a great story.  McConaughey is magnificent as the titular character Mud.  It's a coming of age movie starring two young adults, but it's not them who need to learn the lessons of the world, it's Mud himself.  It was a little known film, but for anyone who appreciates great filmmaking this is sure one to look out for. 


4. The Way Way Back

Coming of age movies don't come more perfect than this.  With an ensemble cast of wonderful actors including Sam Rockwell, Steve Carrell, Toni Collette, Allison Janney, Amanda Peet, and Rob Cordry, this film is nothing short of perfect.  Rockwell is at the top of his game and Carrell has never played a better asshole.  I've watched this over five times this year and it will remain one of my favorite films, not just of this year, but of all time.  This one is highly recommended to everyone.  Everyone.
Review here.

3. Gravity

 









The premise of Gravity looked terrifying from the preview.  It looked nauseating, however, it also looked a little gimmicky with the whole 3D aspect.  While I would say that is true with 99% of films released in 3D, there are those select few that are made to viewed only in 3D, much like Avatar was.  Gravity also ranks among that 1%.  It is the single most beautiful film I've ever seen and it is completely enhanced with the 3D.  My only regret is that I only got to see it one time in theaters.  I have a strange feeling the beauty won't be replicated in home video format.  The film is simply awe-inspiring.
Review here.

2. Captain Phillips

 











Wow what a powerful, tense, taut, and emotional film.  This movie (to be completely cliche) keeps you on the edge of your seat the entire time.  My heart was pounding the entire time even though I already knew the story.  The acting was also top notch.  If Tom Hanks doesn't get anything less than an Oscar nod it'll be a shame because as far as I'm concerned the Gold belongs to him.  He's the greatest actor of our time and this film is no exception.  Even the actor who played the lead pirate is fantastic.  Everything about this movie is great and it deserves to be watched.

1. The Wolf of Wall Street

 









Hands down my favorite movie of the year.  It was batshit nuts!  If you've seen it then you know what I mean.  I've never seen a film like it in my life.  And while it didn't have the grit I mentioned earlier of films from the past few years, it still stood out to me as one of the best movies I've ever seen.  It will be a greek tragedy if DiCaprio never gets his Oscar because he is a damn fine actor and who knew the dude had comedic chops as well??  This movie isn't for everyone.  In fact, there are only a select few I would personally recommend it to, but to those that I know will appreciate it, you need to get out there and see this clusterfuck of insanity!
Review here.


HONORABLE MENTIONS: This Is The End, Stoker, Iron Man 3, The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, 12 Years A Slave



The Top Ten WORST FILMS of 2013:


10. Pacific Rim

 










Okay, let's begin by saying that this definitely wasn't a horrible movie.  It wasn't.  As far as the rest of the movies on this list are concerned, this movie is Citizen Kane.  But, much like Prometheus last year, it wasn't so much how bad the movie was, but how disappointing it was.  When you have a monster movie directed by one of the most creative directors on the planet and all you get is a shittier Independence Day knock off, well then my friends, you failed. Your movie was watchable, and it's some of the best CGI I've ever seen on film... but you failed to deliver what you promised.  And that was a movie worthy of your talent.  For shame Guillermo Del Toro.
Review here.

9.  Gangster Squad

Again, a movie with so much promise.  Look at the cast.  Brolin, Gosling, Penn, Stone.  Coming out just a few months after the fantastic Lawless, we were looking for a gritty crime/mob thriller and instead we got a hokey comic strip version of cop/mob stereotypes.  It was just lame.  The trailer didn't even make it look that extraordinary, but you gotta figure with a cast like that, something brought them to say yes.  I can't figure out what it is.
Review here.

8. Parker

 











Man, I hate putting this movie on here.  My love for Jason Statham transcends Worst Movies lists.  The man is an action God and I've never hated any of his movies... except this one.  It's bad.  How do you fuck up a Jason Statham movie??  All you have to do is kill his wife in the beginning, or set him up, or double cross him, let his heart harden, try to execute your evil plan, and then watch him beat the living piss out of you and everyone you've ever known.  The end.  Do not try to get him to act.  Don't make him use a fucked up hilariously bad southern accent.  Don't throw Jennifer Lopez into the mix!  And sure as hell don't make the movie boring with almost no action whatsoever.  Jesus!  How did we get here!!!  That's okay, no one saw it anyway and he made up for it later in the year with Homefront.  Just don't do it again, okay, Statham?

7. Movie 43

 









How??? How is this the year of the ensemble shit?? You've got like a hundred Academy Award winning actors in a comedy directed by a bunch of self-proclaimed comedic directors and you wind up with a pile of balls!  There were two sketches that made me laugh and that's it.  What in the hell was everyone thinking?  It took the movie like ten years to get made.  Were the directors playing cards with all these A-list celebs and every time they'd lose the card game they'd have to take a role?  I don't get it.  There's no reason this movie should exist.  Like, at all.
Review here.

6. Bullet to the Head

 









No.  Just no, Stallone.  Okay?  Dude, you are way too old for this kind of movie.  Do what you and Arnold did in Escape Plan.  That was a fun movie.  You're too old and too unintelligible to be a "hardass" assassin being chased by the jolly green giant.  This movie had nothing redeeming about it.  It wasn't even laughable bad.  It was just painfully bad.  Sorry, dude.  Don't try this again.


5. The Incredible Burt Wonderstone

 











Again with the great cast ensemble failure comedies of 2013.  Who is ever going to be able to mess up a Steve Carrell, Jim Carrey, Steve Buscemi, Alan Arkin, James Galdolfini, Olivia Wilde film ever again?? I submit to you that there is no one on this Earth that could screw that up as bad as this movie.  It's about Vegas magicians for crying out loud!!  These are some of the funniest people on Earth!  Damn you, Hollywood! How you crush dreams so well!  I'm just going to blame this on Carrell this time.  Fuck you, Carrell.  You dick!
Review here.

4. The Purge

 









Okay, normally I'd like to just take a flaming bag of dog poo and hurl it at all the movies on this list, but this one I just can't do.  It had a great premise.  Like, The Twilight Zone would've been like, "damn that's a good one!" when they heard what this movie was about.  It was just left in the hands of incompetent people.  There was no reason for most of the occurrences that happened.  The decision making was ridiculous.  The acting was terrible.  It was good for a few seconds.  The opening credits were rousing as hell.  But, ultimately, this movie just failed.  In almost every single aspect.  Especially when it should have been brilliant.
Review here.

3. Texas Chainsaw 3D

 









Derp derpy derp.  Derp a derp derp duh derpy derp derp.  Derrrrrrrrp.  I just derp'd my head on the sink.  Derp.  Duhhhhhh deerrrrrrrpppppp.  Let's make a movie.  How I use pen?  What paper mean?  Derrrrrrrrpppppp.  Let's drink Clorox.  Derppppp.  Chainsawssss hehhhhhh.  Duhhhhh uhhhh derp?  Do your thing, cuz!  Uh.... Derp?  Yeah, derp.  Heh heh okay derp!  I fell down and hurt my derp.  That's okay.  Have my derppp.  DERPPPPP!!!!  I ate six balloons today!
Review here.

2. A Good Day To Die Hard

 










I'm more pissed about this movie than any other movie on the list.  Die Hard is my favorite action movie of all time.  John McClane is my favorite action hero of all time.  The dude is a New York cop who's just in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Die Hard 2... not great, but not that bad either.  Die Hard with a Vengence... almost as good as the first one.  Live Free Or Die Hard... about as good as the second one, but they still kept McClane the same dude.  This festering piece of monkey shit is a travesty and sullies the good name of the Die Hard franchise.  And I demand satisfaction!  First off, you're going to make John McClane go out of his way to find danger?  Hardly!  You're gonna cast a goofy peanut looking dude as his son.  You're going to make the film completely humorless with dumb as butt action scenes.  This is quite possibly the last Die Hard we're gonna have, and you fucked it, director John Moore.  Next time I see you, you better be wearing loose jeans because the things I'm going to find to sodomize you with aren't going to leave you with much wiggle room.  I'm just returning the favor.
Review here.

1. Grown Ups 2

 









Adam Sandler: Hey, guys, remember that shitty movie we made where nothing happened and it was just us hanging out ragging on each other with jokes that weren't even funny in the 90s?

Kevin James/David Spade/Chris Rock: Yeah?

Sandler: I have an idea.  Let's make a sequel!

Rock: A sequel?  How?  Nothing even happened in the first one to make a sequel about.

Sandler: No shit, black guy!  This one isn't going to be about anything either.  We're going to just film ourselves being consistently not funny and make a shit load of cash so I can make more unfunny movies.  I even thought of the first bit.  I don't want to spoil anything, but it

Spade: I'll do it.

Sandler: Of course you'll do it.  What else were you gonna do?

James: Me too.

Rock: Fuck it.  Let's go.

Sandler: Okay, first I just got to write the script...

*silence for ten long seconds*

*eruption of laughter*

Sandler: Ah, that was good.  Let's all go buy some cocaine.

Review here.


HONORABLE MENTIONS: Only God Forgives

Her: Isn't She Lovely?

Romantic comedies are supposed to represent all the aspects of love in a light-hearted way.  There's a definite story structure to every romcom you've ever seen: Boy meets girl, boy courts girl, boy falls in love with girl, boy loses girl, boy learns life lesson, boy gets girl back.  Boom.  Done.  The end.  Happy new year.  They're escapes from the drudges of real life, but there are hardly any romcoms that accurately depict what it's like to be in a REAL LIFE relationship.  Some kind of get there, but substitute the ultimate realism for humor and sticking to the structure.  Films like Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and Love Actually.  These are top of the class for the romcom genre, but their ability to show real life relationships are a little bit skewed.  Two films come to mind, and strangely enough they would be dubbed indie films, that have come the closest I have ever seen to being the most realistic depiction of love and what it means to go through a relationship with another person: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and 500 Days of Summer.  Both of these films were so well-written, so well acted, the characters had such chemistry that it felt like anyone watching it was able to put themselves in the shoes of the actors and see the same situations playing out before their own lives.  Well, the indie world has done it again with Her.  A movie about a weirdo and a robot voice has joined the ranks of the aforementioned romcoms as being one of the most real depiction of love ever on film.

So, after the spiel about realism, here's the plot of the film:  In the distant future technology has advanced... again.  Now available are artificial intelligence operating systems in order to help people keep their lives organized as well as provide company to those who are lonely.  Enter Theodore (Joaquin Phoenix) an awkward, semi-creepy divorcee who works at a fascinating futuristic company called beautifulhandwrittenletters.com where he writes the most amazing love letters to people pretending to be them.  He surrounds himself with love everyday, though he's experiencing sorrow from his recent, and surprising divorce.  This is when he meets his new operating system, Samantha (Scarlett Johannson).  She's sweet, she's inquisitive, she wants to get to know everything about Theodore and he's unable to anything but fall in love with her.

Okay, wait, dude, I thought you said this was realistic??  It is.  In a way.  The way that Theodore's and Samantha's relationship blossoms is identical to the way any one of us connects to another human.  There's the awkward meeting period, then once you become comfortable with that person there's the cheesy jokes and fake laughter and real laughter and flirting and butterflies and wanting to talk to that person 24/7.  Then, there's the moment where you have sex for the first time and even though it's a little awkward (even more so if you're doing it with a computer voice) it's still an exhilarating moment.  There's the honeymoon phase, the first fight, the romance, the realization the honeymoon phase is over, the misunderstandings, the jealousy, the beautiful moments, and sometimes a happily ever after, sometimes a bitter end.  Even though Spike Jonze deals with love between a human and an artificially intelligent voice, there is nothing fake about Theo and Sam's relationship.  It's brutal, it's honest, and anyone who's ever been in love will be able to recognize this in the film.  It's sweet, it's touching, and it's very funny, but at times it can even be a bit heartbreaking.

It's wonderful to see Joaquin Phoenix in a role so tame and honest like Theodore.  He has to carry the movie with his face and his voice.  95% of the film he is reacting to someone who isn't even on screen.  But, for some strange reason, we care about his relationship.  We long, like Theodore longs, for Samantha to become real and for them to ride off into the sunset together.  On the other hand, we feel pity for Theodore as the only person he's able to make a romantic connection with is a computer, while he's missing someone right under his nose (Amy Adams).  His acting is fantastic and real.  Theodore is a real person with parts of himself missing or ripped away from a devastating break up.  His connection with Samantha is about learning to love again and picking up the pieces and putting himself back together again.

The strangest thing about the movie though is the "acting" from Scarlett Johannson.  It is her voice that steals the show.  She knows just the right way to say everything, the right way to giggle, the right way to moan, the right inflection when trying to be cute or when trying to be firm.  You will fall in love with her just as Theodore does.  I doubt it, but this could quite possibly be the first time someone receives an Oscar nomination for an acting category while never actually being seen on screen, and it wouldn't be unjustified at all.

Her was a beautiful and funny film.  One of the best of 2013 and a great movie for anyone who's ever had someone special in their lives, whether lost or kept.  It transcends the romcom genre, with a little sci-fi mixed in, and it's refreshing to see how any one of us could be a Theodore falling madly in love with a Samantha.  This is a highly recommended film.

A