BEST UPCOMING:
2/7
The Lego Movie
Yeah, it's a kid's movie, but come on... it looks kinda funny. It'll be entertaining and creative at the very least. There have been much worse movies to come out in Hollywood's toilet that is January and February. This is one that should be hard to screw up.
2/28
Non-Stop
Look, when I say Best Upcoming, I don't mean like Oscar-worthy. I just mean some awesome movies coming out that look fun and entertaining. And who doesn't want to see Liam Neeson kicking terrorist plane ass?? It's Taken on a plane. With Liam Neeson. It's going to be a lot of fun, regardless of plot or lack thereof. Did I mention Liam Neeson is in it?
3/7
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Ever since Moonrise Kingdom left theaters I have been anxiously awaiting the release of this film. It looks like it could literally be his best film yet. He's put together the most epic cast and the quirkiness of it seems off the charts. I could fall in love with this film very quickly, methinks.
3/21
Muppets Most Wanted
The resurgence of the Muppets by Jason Segal was a very wanted and successful endeavor. Of course they were going to make a sequel. If it's anything like the original, it's going to be fantastic. Yes, this one looks a little bit more slapstick, but that's what the Muppets were always about. I mean, come on, who hates the Muppets? Did I mention Liam Neeson is in it?? Oh, wait... that was another one.
3/21
Bad Words
I'm not entirely convinced that this will be one of the best... but I'm willing to give it a shot. It's like the Bad Santa of spelling bee competitions starring a very likable actor we don't get to hear a lot of foul stuff come from. He's also directed it too. That puts it in the positive in my book.
3/28
Sabotage
Screw you guys. It's Arnold!!! It's a movie that doesn't look like complete balls either. It's a respected director, a respected writer... and Arnold!!! It will be awesome. No argument. It will.
4/4
Dom Hemingway
This movie looks off the wall batshit crazy. It looks like a blast to watch. Plus, Jude Law has been a bit AWOL the last few years, I'm going to go ahead and trust the dude with his triumphant return to film. Watch this trailer.
4/17
Transcendence
Yes, it looks a little on the strange side, but together all the factors. It's produced by Christopher Nolan. It's directed by Nolan's longtime cinematographer Wally Pfister. It's Johnny Depp taking a break from Tim Burton and Pirates. It's probably going to be awesome!
WORST UPCOMING:
2/14
RoboCop
This movie is going to suck. A shitty-CGI'd PG-13 remake of a movie that isn't even that good to begin with that looks almost identical to the remake of Total Recall. I'm calling bust on this clunker.
2/14
A Winter's Tale
Yawwwwn. Boringgggg. Snoooooooze. Who is actually going to go see this? When do period pieces like this ever get good money? Sorry Farrell (and special cameo Will Smith), this looks like a piece of Valentine's Day trash.
2/14
Endless Love
Yes!!! Another sappy/crappy 80s movie remake with no named pretty people that anyone with half of half of a brain can tell is going to reek of shit! You're better than this, Hollywood.
2/21
Pompeii
Yes, it's probably true that this movie is going to have some cool special effects and some cool scenes involving the volcano. And usually I'm totally down with that as long as I get some good actors hamming it up a bit. Nope. No-name pretty faced, muscular douchebags that wouldn't be believable nowadays, much less back then. It's sappy volcano crap that should've just been called Endless Pompeii Love.
2/28
Welcome To Yesterday
Way to rip off a good movie like Chronicle, Hollywood. Trying to capitalize on the same no-named teens, found footage movie with super powers like time traveling or whatever? Guess what. It ain't gonna work. You're lucky we all liked Chronicle. Stick with the sequel to that one. Leave us alone for now.
2/7
300: Rise of an Empire
300 without Gerard Butler??? With crappy B-movie actors and green screen effects that are already outdated and worthless? Please explain to me why I should give any of my money to a movie that shouldn't have a sequel or one that took ten years to come out?? Nope. Don't be fooled, people. This movie is going to blow donkey sack.
3/14
Need For Speed
The only thing this Fast and Furious ripoff has going for it is that people really like Aaron Paul and miss him from their screens. It will probably do well at the box office the first weekend of its release and word of mouth will spread on how bad it truly is and it'll fizzle like every car movie from now until 2034 that tries to snag a little bit of that Furious cash.
4/18
A Haunted House 2
Do I really have to explain myself on this one??
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