Summer is upon us already, people. This means huge blockbusters, sequels galore, and a few sleepers sprinkled in there as well. With summer comes a lot of baggage. This is the time where the Michael Bay's of the world come out of hiding and give us brainless popcorn fare in 3D IMAX smell-o-vision, seat cushion ass warmer style. It's hard to tell which are going to be decent films worth spending $87 on a ticket and a small popcorn. That's why I'm here. These are the films that, in my head, appear to be the best ones to take a chance on and which ones to probably avoid. (Let it be known that I would've had Star Trek on "Upcoming Best" and The Great Gatsby on "Upcoming Worst" but they were already included on my previous list Best and Worse Upcoming Spring list.) Also, I'm well aware that I don't have very many arthouse-indie type films on this list because this is a list for SUMMER films-- a very specific type of film-- which may not be a good movie in the grand scheme of film, but as for entertaining summer fodder will serve nicely.
Upcoming Best:
May 23: The Hangover Part III
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifinakis, John Goodman
Dir: Todd Phillips
Wait, wait! Don't discredit me yet! Remember how much you loved the first one? Remember how funny it was and still is to this day? So, yeah, they made a second one that sucked and was essentially an unfunny carbon copy of the first one. But, guess what... remember a little film called Ocean's 11? Remember how good that was? Then came 12 and it took everything you loved about the original and bashed it with a lead pipe. So, what did they do? They made 13, the apology movie. It was a much better film, back in Vegas, to say sorry for the sequel screw up. I have a feeling that's what Hangover Part III is doing. It's apologizing for the screw up. And, even if I'm wrong, there's still going to be very funny moments in the film.
June 14: This Is The End
Starring: Seth Rogen, James Franco, Jonah Hill, Craig Robinson, Emma Watson
Dir: Evan Goldberg, Seth Rogen
We haven't had a Seth Rogen/Frat Pack movie since Pineapple Express. Apatow's crew has somewhat gone quiet and joined other projects. But, remember the good ol' days where there'd be two or three a year and they weren't only the funniest movies out that year, but also good??? Well, you can bet on a few things with this movie: it's going to be hilarious, it's going to be crude, and it's going to go balls out. You'll get to see your favorite celebrities get killed (can't wait to watch Aziz die) and say horrific stuff during the apocalypse. It may not be the best movie of the year, but it'll probably be the funniest.
June 21: Monsters University
Starring: Billy Crystal, John Goodman, John Krasinski, Steve Buscemi
Dir: Dan Scalon
Yeah, so it's another unnecessary sequel from Pixar when they should be making more original movies like Up and Wall-E, but then again it IS Pixar. By now, one should just assume that no matter what Pixar is putting out (unless it's Cars) is going to be solid gold. And this isn't a bad film to make a prequel to. The first one was a cute, endearing little feature that probably doesn't warrant a prequel because we already know how everything turns out, but it's done, it's made, and it's probably going to be great.
June 28: White House Down
Starring: Channing Tatum, Jamie Foxx, Maggie Gyllenhaal, James Woods
Dir: Roland Emmerich
Yep, now I've completely lost you, haven't I? Hear me out! I swear, I have a logical explanation for this one! Okay, so you know how I thought Olympus Has Fallen was going to be an "upcoming best" and then it turned out to be a shit movie? Well... that led me to believe that this movie was going to suck just as much. But, Roland Emmerich... is one of the best when it comes to big-budget destruction and mayhem. Independence Day is one of the greatest movies of all time. I know 2012 sucked, but at least the destruction scenes were fun to watch and the CGI was competent. Plus, just give the trailer a watch. It looks like he's back to that perfect combination of funny and action. It's a buddy-cop movie with the president. At the very least, it couldn't be worse than Olympus, right?
July 5: The Lone Ranger
Starring: Johnny Depp, Armie Hammer, Helena Bonham Carter, William Fichtner
Dir: Gore Verbinski
This is one that even I'm a little skeptical about. It's got a great cast (I mean Fichtner as the villain!!!) and the director has proven his worth with the first Pirates movie, but it's the latest trailer for the movie that makes it seem like it'll be a worthwhile Summer flick. If it isn't, this might not be too good for Depp's career.
June 5: The Way, Way Back
Starring: Sam Rockwell, Steve Carrell, Toni Collette
Dir: Jim Rash and Nat Faxon
This [hopefully] is going to be the small, indie hit of the year. It's cheaply made, but makes tons of money. At the end of the year, its not nominated for any awards but its everyone's favorite movie. Written and Directed by the guys who wrote The Descendents, I think this is the movie I'm most excited for over summer. I wish more movies were like this one.
July 12: Pacific Rim
Starring: Idris Elba, Charlie Day
Dir: Guillermo Del Toro
This movie, I fear, will be misjudged by most people. It is probably going to come off as another Transformers or Battleship type film, when in actuality it's much, much smarter than that. Guillermo Del Toro's name alone, including a writing credit, should speak volumes as to how epic and awesome this movie will be. It's more about science than pyrotechnics. I'm excited and I think this will be the start of what summer movies should aim to be.
July 19: The Conjuring
Starring: Patrick Wilson, Vera Farmiga, Lili Taylor
Dir: James Wan
Good horror is hard to find and few and far between. But, James Wan has proven with Insidious that he knows how to scare the crap out of people. This movie is rated R. Not because it has blood or gore or language or nudity or drugs. It's rated R for being too scary. Plain and simple. Tell me that doesn't pique your interest just a tad?
August 2: 2 Guns
Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Denzel Washington, Paula Patton
Dir: Baltasar Kormakur
Finally! A buddy-cop movie! We've been waiting for the resurgence! It's Lethal Weapon for the 2010 era. Denzel has a pretty good track record as of late and Wahlberg looks like he's picking scripts that allows him to have the most fun possible while filming. This one is definitely a hidden gem nearing the end of summer.
August 9: Elysium
Starring: Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley
Dir: Neil Blomkamp
Neill Blomkamp's follow up to District 9 has been held to such secrecy that until recently there had been no plot details released prior to the trailer. While it doesn't look as crisp as District 9, it looks like the much better alternative to After Earth.
August 23: The World's End
Starring: Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Martin Freeman
Dir: Edgar Wright
Edgar Wright- Simon Pegg- Nick Frost-- the brilliant trio behind Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz finally complete their "blood and ice cream" trilogy with The World's End. I don't care what this movie is even about, I will see it. Three of the best writers of our day, combined with Britain's best duo since Farley and Spade make this one the most anticipated movies of Summer. It will be great. No matter what.
Upcoming Worst:
May 31: After Earth
Starring: Will Smith, Jaden Smith
Dir: M. Night Shyamalan
June 7: The Internship
Starring: Owen Wilson, Vince Vaughn, John Goodman
Dir: Shawn Levy
June 21: World War Z
Starring: Brad Pitt, David Morse
Dir: Marc Forster
Even though I've already detailed 7 reasons World War Z is gonna suck, my mind has not changed. The CGI looks cheap, the movie looks humorless, and it's gone back for multiple reshoots because there's creative disputes aplenty. This will not be a good movie and it may be the catalyst that knocks zombie movies back a few years.
June 28: The Heat
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Melissa McCarthy
Dir: Paul Feig
July 12: Grown Ups 2
Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade
Dir: Dennis Dugan
Adam Sandler's first sequel ever comes from his [second] worst movie ever made. Did anyone really find Grown Ups funny? Anyone with a brain, I mean? There was no story. There was no character development. Just five actual friends, having fun on a lot of money, and getting paid to do it. There's not a single memorable moment from the first film and the second one doesn't look like its going to provide that either. It would be very difficult to make it worse than the first one, but don't think ol' Sandler won't try.
July 19: R.I.P.D.
Starring: Jeff Bridges, Ryan Reynolds, Kevin Bacon
Dir: Robert Schwentke
This is the one that I'm the most sad about. When I first heard the plot description of undead police officers working to arrest the baddies of the ghost world and that Ryan Reynolds would be teaming up with the man, the myth, the legend Jeff Bridges, there was no way it could go wrong. Throw in a bad script and some incredibly cheap CGI (I'm talking Van Helsing bad, like are we playing watching Despicable Me or a live action movie kinda bad) and you've ruined all chances at producing a great movie or starting a franchise. Rest in Peace.
August 2: 300: Rise of an Empire
Starring: Eva Green, Rodrigo Santoro
Dir: Noam Murro
August 23: The Mortal Instruments
Starring: A bunch of no names
Dir: Who cares
Movies I Haven't Decided on Yet:
I've got a good grasp on which movies I think will be good and which to avoid. But there are still a select few that could go either way. Check out the trailers below and judge for yourself. Have a fun summer!
The Way Way Back looks really cute, and Toni Collette is always a gem.
ReplyDeletePacific Rim looks like a Godzilla mashup ripoff of Neon Genesis Evangelion, but Idris Elba is amazing so who knows.
And The Mortal Instruments: The City of Bones + no names? You've gotta be kidding me. Jamie Campbell Bower (Twilight, Harry Potter), Lily Collins, Lena Headey (freaking Game of Thrones and 300), Aidan Turner (The Hobbit), & Jonathan Rhys Myers (The Tudors)?
Granted the book series plays up the teen romances as major plot movers, but the books are hugely popular (and not bad at all). The trilogy will be made.
I don't mean to offend but I think your personal preference for action, mecha/robot dstructo, comedies and buddy cop movies may be influencing your critical opinions of the merit of a lot of these. Of your list, maybe two films could pass the Bechdel test, and you are pre-panning both of them. The Heat, I agree will be bad, but not because McCarthy and Bullock are playing tired roles. Half the actors in your Upcoming Best list are playing tired hackneyed roles.
I mean it is your blog and I guess I may not be your demographic, but c'mon.
My personal preference for action destructo, comedies and buddy cop movies are literally what summer is about. But, I also look past the label. I see everything. I see that a movie like "Transformers" and "Battleship" are pure Hollywood crap with no story to rake in money for a thousand sequels with no real substance. On the other hand, I see that Guillermo Del Toro is a renowned academy award nominated director who has yet to put out one single "money" film, with a cast of respected actors (yes Ilba), so that I trust.
ReplyDeleteThe Mortal Instruments will be the next August Rush... over-dramatic crap, with semi-famous actors whose faces people recognize but names escape them because they're really not important enough to remember. It'll try to capitalize on the teen lady-boners girls are missing for Twilight, but it won't be able to. It'll barely make back its budget and fade away until people don't realize there was a shitty adaptation for what probably was a much better book.
But, Summer movies are slim pickens. You have to be able to pick out the good from the muck. I'd love to be able to recommend smaller, indie, smart, witty, films with more substance with CGI, but that's what Oct-December is for. The only movies not mentioned on this list were: The Big Summer (which I think looks great, but won't be released anywhere but two theaters in LA and NY), Much Ado About Nothing, The Bling Ring (which I can't judge because I'm biased and I just don't like Sophia Coppola), Despicable Me 2 (because who really wants my opinion on that?), Blue Jasmine (because Woody Allen's got that plot closed up tighter than a chinese hooker), Fruitvale Station (which you could make the argument that I definitely should've included that because it's going to be fantastic), The Smurfs 2 (for obvious reasons), Percy Jackson 2 (because I didn't see the first one and I'm in no position to judge it), and Prince Avalanche (which I haven't really made up my mind about). That's it. There's no real Oscar winners even in that list.
So, while I understand that "White House Down" isn't going to be a good movie like, say, "The Descendants" or "There Will Be Blood" are good movies, it's going to be a beacon of light in an otherwise shit-covered summer.