Friday, November 9, 2012

7 Reasons World War Z Is Gonna Suck


The trailer for Max Brooks' book adaptation World War Z was released yesterday.  And, I'm not gonna lie... for as much as I wish it was going to be as awesome as it should be... it's gonna suck big thick ones.  Why?  Here's seven reasons:

1. Rewrites/Reshoots/Pushing back the date.  Z was originally scheduled for a November release.  However, due to crappy writing and crappy filmmaking getting noticed, the cast was called back for re-shoots and the film was delayed to next summer.  This is NEVER the sign of a good movie.

2. It looks nothing like the book.  The book was a beautiful follow-up satire to The Zombie Survival Guide.  This looks like your generic big-budget action movie with no story or heart.

3. Traditional zombies... like the ones Max Brooks writes about... are slow and creepy.  Not crazy Olympic runners from Uganda.  Fast zombies suck.

4. Ed Harris dropped out of the picture early on.  They say it was due to "scheduling conflicts"... yeah, right, Ed.

5. Since when has Brad Pitt made a good movie with his creepy long hair?  TroyLegends of the Fall?  Short hair Pitt is the only good Pitt.

6. Seriously though, it's almost 2013... why does the CGI zombie-pyramid look fake as hell??  I've seen good CGI.  I know we have the technology.  So why does it all look like we're still making I Am Legend?

7. Because I so desperately want it to be good.

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