Let's just get this out of the way right now: The Man With The Iron Fists is not a movie that is intended to be taken seriously. It's mean to take the antiquated Kung-Fu style and blow it up to bigger and better proportions. But, it's also not a good movie, either. The tongue-and-cheek concept it was aiming for misses by quite a lot. Where Kill Bill knew how to successfully build an homage around an original idea, this movie falls by the wayside. I do have to hand it to writer/producer/director/star RZA for attempting to do something just batshit crazy fun and even roping in Russell Crowe (wtf is Russell Crowe doing in this movie??) for a role that allows us to see a lighter side to the man. But, overall, the finished product feels like a bunch of teenagers with a big budget and no real ability to tell a story.
I would love to give a brief plot synopsis of the film, but I'm not entirely sure what I'd say. There isn't much of a plot-- more of like ten excuses to bring ten different clans together to one spot to have a full on blood orgy. RZA plays a blacksmith dating a prostitute who both dream of getting out of the city. Bad Asian actor number one wants to avenge his father's death. Bad Asian actor number two killed Bad Asian actor number one's father and wants to start a war with Asian Clan who all want gold. Russell Crowe is a British badass with a gun-knife looking for a vacation and reasons to kill people. Gold is the Macguffin that leads each of these one-dimensional characters towards their ultimate destination.
What works is the stylized fighting sequences-- and there are a lot of them. Not a whole lot else happens in between each fight, but when the violence ends the shoddy attempt at a story begins. First of all, I would recommend this movie only be watched with no sound. The dialogue is abysmal. And I understand that the intention was to playfully recreate old Kung-Fu dialogue cliches, but the entire movie's dialogue is just that. Save for Russell Crowe (seriously, wtf is Russell Crowe doing in this movie??) who's actually the best and most likable character in the film, every character, including RZA, is given the worst possible strung together words that barely form sentences. After awhile it becomes nails on a chalkboard. The fights stop being something you look forward to because of the awesome ultraviolence, but more as a refreshing break from actors speaking.
That being said, it is still a fun movie to watch. It's like Saturday morning cartoons for adults. RZA knows his audience and what they want. There's not really a plot because there doesn't need to be one. I know I wasn't looking for any sort of palpable storyline-- I wanted to see suckas get killed. RZA co-wrote the script with Eli Roth, which is fitting because the guy knows how to kill his actors in very original ways, but also doesn't possess that knack of piecing together a cohesive narrative.
So, if it's mindless Kung-Fu violence or an hour an a half vacation from your brain, then give it a whirl. But, if there's anything more you had in mind, you might try venturing to another theater. Because halfway through the movie, after I'd already grown tired of what I was watching, I couldn't think of anything else other than-- seriously, wtf is Russell Crowe doing in this movie?? (And why haven't I seen Argo yet???)
C-
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