Saturday, March 23, 2013

Olympus Has Fallen: Or, What Die Hard 5 SHOULD'VE Been



Here's the problem with having a movie review blog.  I'm putting my opinions on the web for you to be able to judge what you should and should not see.  If I enjoy a movie that I know most people will not, it's difficult for me to put aside my own preferences and actually judge a movie based on how bad it is or isn't.  So, before I get into how I personally felt about Olympus Has Fallen, let me take a moment to tell you that this movie is DUMB.  It lacks more brain cells than Amanda Bynes' vagina.  When someone brought up the idea of common sense, the others responsible for the finished product just laughed and wiped the tears from their eyes.  The coherence level is lower than a five-year-old mouth attacking a bucket of Elmer's paste.  It's dumb.  So, for those of you looking for a clever, taut, emotionally challenging, cleverly written, perfectly acted, tongue-and-cheek, West Wing-ish, type of action thriller... you ought look elsewhere.  Right now.  Go.

Now, for those willing to shut off your brains entirely and suspend all disbelief whatsoever and purposefully ignore the plethora of plot holes that arrive every five minutes or so... you may actually enjoy this flick.  It's legitimately the epitome of a popcorn flick.  It's mindless shooting and expletives without so much as any extra brain power used to piece together a cohesive plot.  But, more importantly, it's damn entertaining.  Never before on screen have I seen so many innocent people gunned down at once.  There's a good twenty minutes when the terrorists are making their way into the White House and innocent bystanders are just blasted up and down the street (you never actually realize how many people would have to die for someone to take over the White House until now).  It's a legitimate call-back to the genre of action that defined action movies today: 90s action.

Olympus Has Fallen tells the story of Mike (Gerard Butler), a disgraced Secret Service Agent, sneaking around the White House attempting to rescue the President (Aaron Eckhart) after it has been taken over by Korean terrorists.  With the President out of commission and the Vice President's head separated from his body, the Speaker of the House (Morgan Freeman) becomes acting Prez.  And since we all know what a badass Morgan Freeman is at being President from Deep Impact, it should come as no surprise that he's just as awesome here.  The film is, essentially, Die Hard in the White House only John McClane is missing in action.  But, considering the latest Die Hard film was the biggest waste of film in the history of the franchise, it might actually be unfair to compare the two.  It still follows the same DH formula: guy with emotional and family problems, finds himself the only man to save the lives of others taken hostage, set entirely in a single building, and with a badass one-on-one confrontation at the end.  They call it formula because it's been done before, but hey, if something has proven to work, why not try it again... in the White House?

Normally, after seeing a movie that I thought was entertaining, I would go on and talk about all the things that I really enjoyed about the film, but since I'm trying to convince you to see this movie, it'd be remiss of me to not tell you what to expect from the feature.  First of all, some of the acting, even from those who have proven themselves in the past to be stellar, is a little weaker here.  Everyone seems to know what kind of movie they're in and play it exactly that way.  The CGI in the film is horrible.  Granted, there isn't a ton of it because it doesn't call for a lot of computer effects, but during the initial takeover, there is a significant amount and it looks like the cut scenes in between video game levels.  The logic and reason behind a lot of character motivations and actions seem to come and go as they're needed for the moment and don't really have any connection to the story arc.  The "fake-out" towards the ending of the film is all kinds of ridiculously stupid.  If you're only on the fence about America being the single greatest country in the entire world, don't worry, they will do anything in their power to convince you that America is nothing short of magnificent.  And most of the one-liners WILL, indeed, make you laugh, but not because they're insanely clever.

Now... if you think you can handle all of that... then I will tell you this.  It's a fun movie.  Gerard Butler is no John McClane, but apparently neither is Bruce Willis anymore, so he does a fine job as McClane's contemporary replacement.  He's fun to watch, and he kicks some serious ass.  The death toll in this movie is outrageous!  Most of the people you see on screen will, one way or another, be killed.  Watching Mike sleuth about the big house and take out terrorists one by one is also quite fun, but you have to essentially stare at the screen wide eyed, no thoughts coursing through your brain, a little drool running down into your popcorn bag and you'll be able to enjoy the film.  Every time I noticed a plot hole, I'd just throw it out of my head and go back to mindlessly enjoying a great homage to 90s action.  If every action movie from now on was more like Olympus Has Fallen and less like A Good Day To Die Hard, I'd be okay with that... for awhile.

C+

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