The 10 Best and Worst Movies of 2012

2012 was a strange year for movies, but then again, maybe it wasn't.  We saw some of the best chunk of films in the back half of the year (as is normal for any given year), but there were no definitive Academy Award winning movies released as the last few years.  I mean, come on, did anyone see The Artist not winning best picture.  But, what was special about this year were the Academy Award worthy movies that came out in the beginning to middle of the year too.  There were also a TON of terrible movies.  Most of which do not show up on my worst list because I have the common sense to avoid them.

Let me be clear... these aren't the Best and Worst movies of the year, just the best and worst of what I saw.  I was unfortunate not to have seen some films that I really wanted to see such as Compliance, The Impossible, Hitchcock, etc.  But for those worthy/terrible ten that I managed to see... I am here to recognize them.  Let's begin with the best.

Top Ten BEST Films of 2012:

10.  TIE!!!  The Dark Knight Rises/The Cabin in the Woods

 











Okay, I realize that I said there were only ten best, but in making this list I couldn't pick only ten.  These two movies couldn't just be left on the list in the Honorable Mention section.  The Dark Knight Rises was a great film.  Sure, it wasn't as good as its predecessor, but how could you make it better?  Heath Ledger's portrayal of The Joker will go down in cinematic history as one of the greatest villains of all time.  But, Christopher Nolan did a fine job in wrapping up the series.  Sure, it may have been a half hour too long, but it satisfied all need for an ending.  Bane was a worthy adversary, Catwoman stole the scenes she was in.  Joseph Gordon-Levitt was great as usual.  Nolan will probably end up on these lists from now until he stops making movies.  There's no denying this movie was good.

The Cabin in the Woods, however, was a favorite horror movie of mine.  I dare you to find a more inventive and creative horror movie out there.  It took conventional horror plots, scenarios, characters, tropes and put them up against something truly hilarious and scary to watch.  I haven't had that much fun at the movies in a long time.  That's why it had to make my list.

9. Lawless

Lawless made the list because not only was it one of my favorite movies of 2012, but it was one of the more surprisingly good movies of 2012.  I had always wanted to see it, but never expected it to be as great as it was.  The acting, the characters, the story was all put into the collective pot of film heaven.  There are some scenes that are truly hard to watch, but its intensity is where it finds its strength.  Definitely a long-time favorite.  You can see the full review here.

8. Argo

 















Argo has not only made my best list of 2012 but it seems to be making its rounds on a lot of more credible film reviewer's lists.  As well it should.  This movie has to be one of the most tense movies to come out in a while.  I knew what would end up happening because of the true history of the story, but I was still on the edge my seat the entire time.  Ben Affleck definitely displays his directorial abilities once again and shows us that while being in front of the camera is still hit or miss, he's definitely needed behind it.  Review here.

7. Moonrise Kingdom

 












I love Wes Anderson.  His quirky way of writing dry humor along with his regulars he casts in his films that are the perfect personification of that writing (more notably Bill Murray) is a refreshing delight when it comes to what's considered comedies these days.  This story is unconventional in its portrayal of young love, but its a wonderful story full of beautifully cheeky characters and terrific writing.  If you're a Wes Anderson fan, I highly recommend this film.

6. Silver Linings Playbook

 














Again, it's difficult to find good comedies these days that aren't about who can say the most raunchy thing for a laugh that's practically begged for.  Good comedies start off by good writing and good acting.  Silver Linings Playbook is by far one of the best comedies of the year and it's going to be one of the most under appreciated, I feel.  Bradley Cooper is not Hangover-ing it up.  He's a real guy with real problems that lead to real emotion and real laughs.  Jennifer Lawrence is also spectacular is the equally messed up counterpart to Cooper.  One of the funniest and most heartfelt movies of the year.  Review here.

5. Looper

 














As far as sci-fi and action goes, it's difficult to find ones with actual plot with characters you care about.  Sure, there are a lot of fun ones, but they most fall into the abyss of forgettable.  Not Looper.  Director/Writer Rian Johnson takes the typical time-traveling future storyline and turns it into something new and exciting.  You care about each person you're watching, you're hoping each one succeeds even when the plans of succession could ruin the other person's plan.  You hope for the best but expect the worst.  It's a fun movie that allows you to invest yourself in each character, which is a rarity for this genre.  Review here.

4. Flight

 










Not only was Flight one of my favorites of the year because it brought the return of director Robert Zemeckis to live action form, but we actually got to see the acting chops we knew Denzel was hiding for years.  Just as Zemeckis was hiding in the animation world, Denzel had been hiding in safe action-movie Tony Scott world.  And while we had a blast watching Denzel in action mode, there was a yearning for Training Day Denzel to make a comeback.  Flight brings about, what I believe to be his finest acting I've ever seen.  As the pilot who saves the lives of hundreds of people, but with a darker side, is just terrific and terrifying to watch unfold.  I truly loved this movie and believe it is worth a look by almost anyone.  Review here.

3. Django Unchained

 














Having just written my review of this movie, there's not many more ways I can praise it other than being the balls-to-the-wall epic spaghetti western masterpiece we all knew would come from Quentin Tarantino.  Any and all reservations were squashed within the first five minutes of the film.  Any hesitancy on the part of the viewer to see the movie due to Jamie Foxx given the title character are out the window by the first half hour.  There are no more words to say other than get your ass to the theater and see it.  If you've already seen it, go again.  Review here.

2. Seven Psychopaths

 














Hands down the funniest movie of the year.  This meta-comedy showcases some of the most hilarious moments of film with a collection of some of our favorite actors just being able let themselves go and have a lot of fun.  Even Colin Farrell doesn't feel out of place here.  He plays the straight man better than anyone else could've in the role.  It is a near-perfect movie, with countless laughs.  It's one of those films that once its over you want to start it and watch it all over again.  Review here.

1. Les Miserables

 












I'm sure this comes as no to surprise to, well, anyone.  But, yes, Les Miserables was my favorite movie of 2012.  I apologize if this seems like a cop out, but it was amazing.  The performances, the translation from stage to screen, all of it far exceeded my expectations.  Give it a chance.  I promise, it's hard to hate the movie.  And while I'm sure hardly anyone will love it as much as I did, it's still one of the best movies of the year.  Maybe I'm too biased for you, but there wasn't a single movie that moved me all year like this one did.  It's gorgeous, it's heartbreaking, it's majestic, and it's my favorite film of 2012.  The invitation is still open to anyone who wants to see it.  I'll be right there.  Review here.

HONORABLE MENTION: Lincoln, Safety Not Guaranteed, Jeff Who Lives at Home, Savages

Top Ten WORST Films of 2012:

10. Dark Shadows

 














I didn't particularly hate Dark Shadows per se, it was just a huge let down. It felt like Johnny Depp and Tim Burton realized they didn't have a movie planned for 2012 so they quickly rustled together a sloppy story, with sloppy writing and directing and tried to come up with something, rather than just realize there are much better stories to tell.  It didn't exactly know what it wanted to be.  It wasn't that funny.  It wasn't that dramatic.  It wasn't that scary.  It just was.  And that makes a movie fail, in my opinion.

9. The Perks of Being a Wallflower

 












Man, did this movie piss me off.  I was expecting this film to break ground.  Be the coming of age movie we've been waiting for since John Hughes.  But, when Mean Girls, a film starring Lindsay Lohan packs more of an emotional and realistic punch than this heap of trash did, then you know you have a problem.  Packed with stereotypical characters, who have nothing more to say than cliched things, this film was agonizing each second.  If you'd like to get a fuller explanation, I suggest going here.

8. Prometheus

 














I had a hard time with this one.  I really didn't want to include it on the list because there were far worst movies of 2012.  However, none of them let me down as much as Prometheus.  I had such high hopes for this movie.  It looked incredible and with Ridley Scott at the help, the man who brought us the original Alien movie, how could expectations not be high?  But, in the end, there was so much going on, not a single character anyone could really care about, it was just a jumbled mess of a movie that couldn't decide which direction to go in.  It wasn't the worst movie of 2012 by far, but it certainly had to have been the most disappointing.

7. Total Recall

 














Expectations being high wasn't a problem with this remake.  I love the original Total Recall, as campy as it is, the camp and the fun of Arnold lends to the fun of the movie.  Well, no worries here folks, if you didn't like the fun of the original there is certainly no fun whatsoever in the remake.  Each character is hollow and the only thing anyone in the movie seems to do is jump from rooftop to rooftop.  Seriously, there should be a drinking game to this movie.  Every time someone is being chased and jumps from one rooftop to another, take a shot.  You'd be drunk in the first half hour.  Director Len Wisemen essentially directed this movie or order to let his wife do badass stunts in which she wasn't a vampire for a change.  But, seriously, who cares?  This movie never should've been made, and everyone knows it.

6. Paranormal Activity 4

 















Paranormal Activity 4 is a prime example of lazy film making.  With a new film coming out each year, they're not all going to be perfect.  Writing deadlines I'm sure are stressful and having the time to be more creative and inventive is simply not given.  But, they could at least try to scare us once or twice, no?  There's nothing even remotely tense in this film.  It's boring.  It's predictable.  And it's most likely a sign that the franchise is swiftly running out of steam.  I'm still going to see the fifth one, in hopes that they realize their mistakes, but don't be surprise if the franchise begins to fizzle out in the next few years.  Review here.

5. A Thousand Words

 














Alright, alright, I know.  I know I should never have wasted my time with this movie because none of you have or even will.  I'm sorry.  I should've seen Amour or Beasts of the Southern Wild or something that would expand my brain, but I didn't.  I redboxed A Thousand Words because the trailer made it look like Eddie Murphy might actually have the intention of making me laugh this time around.  Fooled me.  I'm like a patient with Alzheimer's who only remembers Eddie Murphy from the 80s being funny and each time a new movie comes out with his name attached to it, I get all excited again.  Fool me once shame on you, fool me every year since 1992, shame on you, you prick!

4. The Possession

 















This was also my fault for seeing this movie.  I tend to always forget that PG-13 horror sucks.  It's production companies mass producing something that resembles a horror movie that they use to bankroll an actual decent movie.  So, I hope my money was worth it Lion's Gate, because you sure had fun jerking me around for an hour and a half waiting for something, anything remotely interesting to happen.  Thanks Jeffrey Dean Morgan for adding to allure of a scary movie.  You're all douchebags.  Review here.


3. Project X

 












Putting this out there right now... Project X sucked balls. I'm not sure why I thought it wouldn't.  It's a found footage movie about a crazy party.  What else?  Oh, you wanted something else?  Yeah, no.  That's literally it.  Well, are there any funny characters?  Yeah, there's a fat dude who swears a lot... wait, no... um... there's a stoner kid who... no... oh, there's the virgin who wants to... no... how about the midget that jumps out of the oven and punches people in the dick!  NO! It's literally about a party.  Any party you've ever been to... yeah, it's that.  Except you're not there.  And you're not drunk.  And you're not having any fun whatsoever.  Add some destruction and some surprisingly understanding parents and you've got Project X.  A literal time-waster. 


2. Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie

 













This movie was so bad I didn't even bother putting a picture of it up.  Tim and Eric are the rectal warts of the comedy world.  Their bloody discharge they call "humor" is so far from funny I'd rather have the spikey end of a broom jammed up my ass each day for the rest of my life than ever watch anything either one of these fucktards decide to do again.  I didn't finish the movie... I couldn't.  I literally felt myself getting dumber.  I starting drooling all over myself and walking into walls shouting my own name.  Burn in Hell Tim and Eric... now that would be funny.

1. Piranha 3DD

 











You know who should join Tim and Eric in eternal damnation and Hellfire?  Everyone associated with Piranha 3DD.  Thank you for taking a wonderfully fun and gruesome and hilarious movie that was sure to revive the comedy/horror genre and make a sequel to it with people who are no smarter than a piece of poo on a plate.  Way to take all the fun out of piranhas.  Way to make the budget so small that they couldn't show a single death.  Way to make David Hasselhoff look worse on screen than he did when he was filmed drunk and eating a sandwich.  That's right, David Hasselhoff piss-drunk and chowing down on some bread was funnier and more interesting, not to mention better written than this piece of garbage sadly referred to as film.  Congrats!  You are officially the worst movie of the year.

HONORABLE MENTION: The Watch, Pitch Perfect