The Possession is a terrible movie. I'm not going to slowly introduce different horror movie anecdotes before getting into a little summary of the movie, no. This movie was a waste of my time and a waste of my money. But Ryan, you say, you could've saved yourself the time and the money if you had just watched the trailer. You're right, random blog reader, however I was deceived. Normally, I have a No PG-13 Horror Movie clause. Nothing good comes from PG-13 horror. They rely too heavily on jump scares (aka loud noises) and there's nothing truly disturbing that's able to come from them because they have to keep it below a certain level in order to maintain the PG-13. Also, PG-13 horror movies are solely made in order to profit from those under seventeen young'uns who can't actually get in to an R rated movie. Most PG-13 horror movies are lazy, boring, unscary, and painful to sit through (Darkness Falls, Dark Water, The Grudge, The Haunting of Molly Hartley, The Last Exorcism, The Uninvited, The Unborn, One Missed Call, Secret Window, Shark Night). However, recently, PG-13 horror has been able to make a resurgence thanks mostly to one horror-movie genius, Sam Raimi. He made a fantastic little horror movie a few years back called Drag Me To Hell. For those who haven't seen it... it's one of the best experiences I've ever had in a theater. Never have I seen a movie that could have me rolling with laughter one minute and scaring the piss out of me the next. It's a brilliant film and basically the epitome of why I enjoy going to the movies. Last year's Insidious was also a very effective horror movie with the PG-13 tag on it. So, I wasn't as hesitant to make the journey to see The Possession as I would've been in the past.
The cherry on top that put the trip to the movies in motion was Sam Raimi's name attached to it. Now, he didn't write it or direct as he did with Drag Me to Hell, he was merely a producer. But, having his name on it was good enough for me. (I've made this mistake in the past by seeing Don't Be Afraid of the Dark solely because Guillermo Del Toro's name attached as producer). I shant be making this mistake a third time. The Possession takes everything PG-13 has been trying to accomplish for the past few years and squanders it. Why the script itself got any recognition at all is beyond me. But, I don't hold the film itself entirely to blame. I also blame myself. I blame myself for not having done my research. Do your research, folks. Don't just haphazardly wander into a movie theater, spin around in a circle and point at the marquee as a bead of drool slowly runs down your chin because you'll wind up seeing something like The Possession or worse, something with Tyler Perry. Had I done my research beforehand I would've realized that the movie was written by Juliet Snowden and Stiles White whose previous gems include Boogeyman and Knowing. Do your research.
The plot, if you truly need one, involves a young girl, Emily purchasing an antique wooden box at a yardsale. Inside the box is apparently a demon who needs a host. Emily becomes possessed by the demon and creepy shit starts to happen. There's also sub-plots involving her parents divorce, her father being a basketball coach, her sister on a dance team, moths(??), dentists, and Hasidic Jews. It's like a crappier demonic version of Jumanji without any of the fun. The box, once opened, attaches itself to the owner and, you guessed it, possesses that person. Jeffery Dean Morgan (Watchman) stars as Emily's father and it's perplexing to me as to why this guy can't get into any good roles. He looks like Brad Garrett and Javier Bardem had an adult love child, but he's a pretty decent actor. He doesn't actually glide through this movie looking for the paycheck (even though I'm sure that's why he signed on). He actually makes you feel for the character he's portraying instead of just phoning in the role, yet he's never given any substantial roles to put him on the map. The possessed Emily (Natasha Calls) is also very good. I give mad props to an 11-year-old who can play possessed that convincingly. One of the stronger child actors in recent memory.
But that's it. There is nothing else positive I can say about the film. It relies heavily on loud noises and jump cuts to "scare" the audience (Director: why are they laughing?) rather than lingering tension and build up to something truly frightening. The possessions themselves are rather silly. Instead of bringing a slow creepiness, it's violent jerking and smashing into walls, which frankly, is difficult not to burst out laughing at. As Emily becomes increasingly more and more taken over by the demon, her body starts changing. These changes are not subtle either. Her eyes will quickly roll back in her head, fingers will poke out of her cheeks. These are creepy ideas, and done right will scare the pants off anyone, but done cheaply, with poor effects tends to fail. And that's what this movie does, it fails. Right from the get-go with the ever so tired: Based On A True Story, there was really no saving this film. Based on a true story? After having seen the movie I can confirm the true story. Don't worry, no spoilers here. I'm sure the true story goes a little something like this: Once upon a time, a little girl bought a wooden box at a yard sale. The end.
Lastly, I'm not sure what it is about PG-13 horror movies being so fixated with bugs or slime or liquid or whatever being projectiled from someone's mouth. In this, Emily spits out and swallows moths like they're M&Ms. Is it scary? I don't think so. The mouth is a big deal in The Possession. Early on in the film, Emily inspects her throat and is shocked to see two fingers trying to crawl up it (arguably the creepiest moment in the film, also spoiled by the trailer). Then, an entire hand comes out of the mouth. Then moths. Oh, so many moths. It might just be me, but it's not scary.
The moral of this story, folks, is: do your research. There's no reason I should've seen this movie. None. But, I'm a cinematic masochist. I like horror movies. I enjoy being scared. I don't enjoy cheap jump scares and lackluster demonic possessions anymore. Do your research. If you even look at the poster:
D-
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