Friday, July 25, 2014

Lucy: For A Movie About Obtaining A Higher Intelligence... I Feel Significantly Dumber


I would love to sit here and discuss each and every reason why Lucy isn't just the worst movie of the year, but one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life... however, according to the film, since I only access 10% of my cerebral capacity, and the film is THAT much smarter than I am, I guess I won't be able to do so.  I can tell you this:

Lucy is beyond awful.

Lucy makes absolutely no sense.

Lucy allows you to care about no one.

Lucy does everything it can to appear intelligent... when, in actuality, a monkey throwing shit at another monkey makes more sense than anything in this film.

Lucy will fail once word of mouth has gotten around.

Lucy is a movie that I'm actually very happy I saw as I haven't hated something this much in quite awhile.

Lucy guesses what science stuff actually does... and misses the mark badly.

Lucy would like you to believe that anything they tell you in it is remotely possible.  But, you're much smarter than that and won't buy into it even for a second.

Lucy is far beneath the talent it has employed.

Lucy is one of the only movies I could've walked out of, at any point, and not cared about what happened.

Lucy literally needs no side characters in the film as no one, including the title character, has any agenda or goals.

Lucy doesn't have the cerebral capacity to understand the concept of cerebral capacity.

Lucy has just received Big Peck's Cineflex's very first...

F

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