In general, Hollywood is full of cowards. Cowards who don't believe that anything original is going to make them any money, no matter how star-powered it may be. With Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle there are two movies here. The first is about four high schoolers who get sucked into a video game and have to beat it (and learn life/coming-of-age lessons) in order to escape and return back to their regular lives. The second movie is the same as the first, only they throw random Jumanji references in it in a feeble attempt to cash in on a name brand. The first movie would've been a pretty decent solo film. Take out all the Jumanji connections (which isn't hard because there ain't much of them), but leave the cast and I'm willing to bet the movie would'v made comparable money. But, due to the cowardliness of Hollywood... we have to connect it to anything that's recognizable by the general public in order to hopefully make a few dollars more. It reminded me of Die Hard 3 and 10 Cloverfield Lane. Die Hard 3 began as the script for Lethal Weapon 2. They went with a different idea for that film, so they retooled the script a tad and turned it into a Die Hard film. 10 Cloverfield Lane started as a script about a crazy dude who has kidnapped a couple of people in his bunker by telling them he saved them from the end of the world. The script itself apparently wasn't enough to get asses in seats, so they tacked on some aliens and boom... it's now a Cloverfield movie. This is what has happened with Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle. Because, like I said, as a standalone... it's not bad. As a Jumanji sequel... it's not good.
So, the plot-- basically what I said earlier, but throw in random Jumanji references and call it a sequel. A guy finds a board game on the beach. His son, addicted to video games, doesn't want to play a board game because it's the 90s dude. So, the game, in its infinite wisdom, transforms into a video game in order for more people to play it. The kid plays the game, and gets sucked in. Flash forward to 2017. Four high school students have gotten detention. In the detention room they find the old console, plug it in, and get sucked into the game. There's nerdy, video gamer Spencer who turns into Dr. Smolder Bravestone (The Rock), tall jock football player Fridge, who turns into "Mouse" Finbar (Kevin Hart), brainiac preppy student Martha who becomes Ruby Roundhouse (Karen Gillan), and popular hot girl Bethany who becomes Dr. Shelly Oberon (Jack Black). The joke here is they've become the opposite of their real-life personalities... which, in turn, will teach them their life lessons. Anyway, the game they're sucked into is Jumanji. They're instructed to take a green gem that was stolen from the villain Russell Van Pelt (Bobby Cannavale) to an ancient statue and return it before Van Pelt gets it back from them. And that's pretty much it...
Now, as stated earlier, if this was a standalone film it wouldn't be half bad. We haven't seen a "sucked into a video game/body swap" movie before and it's kind of a clever story. But it's a completely different narrative than the one Jumanji told back in the day. This new version is fun, but it's a different kind of fun than the first one. The fun in Jumanji is anticipating what's coming for the players after each roll of the dice. Then, right before some terrible conflict emerges from the game, you get a tiny riddle to get your brain clicking as to what it might be. It's a movie filled with tension and it's got a very dark atmosphere. Yes, it's fun. Yes, it has Robin Williams and there are moments of humor in it, but it's not a goofy, dopey comedy. It's an adventure film that's made for the family. Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle doesn't have any of this. Here, the jungle is called "Jumanji" and the players have to save it. There's a brief reference to Alan Parrish (VERY brief). And every once in awhile there's a rhyming riddle... but not every time. As the game levels up, the adventure gets harder, but there's nothing clever or that creative about each level. Every roll of the die in the first film came something inventive and exciting (giant spiders, a stampede of animals, a monsoon, quicksand floors, etc.). Here... it's kind of just dudes on motorcycles and a couple of rhinos.
And again... I feel I can't stress this enough... this would've been fun and perfect for a STANDALONE film. But if you're going to attach your story to a movie that's already done it better and more capable and smart than yours, you may need to amp up the stakes a little bit. As a standalone it's decent. As a sequel it's wanting.
However, there are very amusing moments in the film. It's a lot funnier and goofier than its predecessor, which is the movie's strength. Once again, The Rock has come on board to rejuvenate an already dead franchise with his mere presence alone. It is humorous to watch the juxtaposition of a nerdy, weak, and scared teenager inside of The Rock's body. Kevin Hart is still his annoying little whipper-snapper self, but thankfully he's been significantly toned down. There are still eye-rolling moments with him, but less so than usual. Plus, he and The Rock have developed a pretty decent chemistry together, even if the jokes of "I'm big and you're small" are still essentially the same. Karen Gillan is a badass. I'd only really ever seen her in the Guardians of the Galaxy films, but she's got the action and the comedy chops to succeed for a long time in this business. And finally, the thing that Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle did for me was make me severely miss Jack Black. Every time I see him pop up in some kiddie movie or sequel or something below his comedic skill level, it makes me wonder why he's not starring in his own movies any more. Where are our raunchy, adult Jack Black helmed movies? He's better than this. He's better than Goosebumps and Gulliver's Travels. And even though we ALL know he's better than a sequel to Jumanji, he's still very funny. Even if a lot of the jokes are just recycled from Rob Schnieder's The Hot Chick, Jack Black still owns them and makes them feel fresh and new.
This is one of the few instances where I doubt we're going to get many more sequels to Jumanji, much less begin an expansive franchise. The Rock's film schedule is so full, they'd be lucky to pencil him in for Jumanji 3 by the end of 2025. So, if this is a one-off, then that's great. If it makes a ton of money, Hollywood better realize it isn't because we, as movie fans, are all clamoring for Jumanji sequels (because I can tell you that no one really, really wanted this). It's going to make a lot of money because of its cast. And had you had the nutsacks to understand it would've made the same money with the same cast and not have to be attached to an already established movie... you would've been able to start a new franchise. There are worse sequels out there, even some from this year, but don't go into Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle looking for a sequel. If you see the movie and understand that it's its own entity, you're going to enjoy it a lot more. If you go in hoping for a direct sequel, it's going to leave you frustrated, confused, and wanting a lot more.
The Standalone non-Jumanji movie: B-
Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle sequel to Jumanji: C-
No comments:
Post a Comment