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Tuesday, September 27, 2016
The Magnificent Seven: Like Wild Wild West... Only Not Shitty
I never saw the original Magnificent Seven, nor did I ever see the original of that movie 7 Samurai... which is strange, I know, because I like westerns and I like movies. But, even more than that... I like Denzel Washington. Back when the trailers for this movie came out, there were no movies I was more excited for. With Denzel attached to any movie, it's going to be better than most. Even if it's just... okay (I'm looking at you 2 Guns), he's still gonna bring that Denzel ferocity and grin to every role that makes the rest of the shit seem like gold. So, Denzel in a western that looks like it's mostly a shoot-em-up rather than a quiet, slow, burn... yeah, I'm in. Chris Pratt along side him wisecracking and making up for the monstrosity that was Jurassic World... yeah, definitely in.
So, from what I hear, this isn't exactly a remake of the original. It's got the same concept-- seven dudes in the old west have to band together to kill some bad guys. That's pretty much all you need to know. Yes, there is a bad dude (Peter Skarsgaard) who is some sort of oil baron and he's taken over a quaint little western town and shooting dudes point blank in the street. What a dick. So, the widow (Haley Bennett) of the dude killed recruits bounty-ish hunter Chisholm (Washington), who recruits card shark Faraday (Pratt) who goes off to recruit a sharpshooter (Ethan Hawke) and his Asian sidekick (Byung-hun Lee), who then run into an old crazy trapper that hacks people up with a tomahawk (Vincent D'Onofrio), who has problems with a Mexican outlaw that's recruited (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), who partners up with a Native American (Martin Sensmeier). The seven of them, plus the widow go to the town to defend it against the evil baron's army. That's a western, folks. And that's all you need.
I thought the movie was pretty decent. Clearly, we have the two stars that stand out above the rest in Denzel and Pratt. Their chemistry together is wonderful-- the kind of stuff that almost makes you wish for a buddy-comedy-road-trip-spinoff. The rest of the group are serviceable, but what really sticks out like a sore thumb is that none of these people really have that good of a reason to fight. There's the hint of a shit-ton of gold coming their way, but most of them understand that a fight like this is a fight they won't live to see the end of-- so procuring gold isn't really that much of a motivating factor. In fact, most of the dudes they recruit aren't even promised a share of the gold. I kept wondering, as they're prepping and training and getting ready to fight... why the hell they were still there.
Then, there's the small issue of not getting enough character from all of the seven. We get Denzel, especially in a harrowingly Denzel-type scene at the end, but we don't really even get Pratt. No real back story. In fact, the most fleshed out character is Ethan Hawke's character, and he's not even really an integral part of the story. Everyone else, we get their introduction, we get a few specific scenes of them whoopin ass and that's about it. Now, for a western like this-- it's usually not much of a problem. And it really didn't bug me that much. But, with a cast as diverse as this one, I would've rather seen a bit more backstory from the smaller characters than having them just be named for the place they came from.
The rest of the movie, including the last half hour, are a blast. The end fight scene which does last a good fourth of the movie is thrilling to watch. It's as good of an action movie as you'll see. Even though it's set in the old west, this fight could happen today with modern technology and gunplay and it wouldn't be any cooler than it already is. In fact, because they don't have access to all the technology of today, some of the action and explosions are very clever in the way they're set up. The movie does have a decent amount of cheese and some 'one-liners' that don't necessarily land. It does have some awkward set-ups, with strange or non-existent payoffs. And it's definitely not the best crafted western in film history, but it does its job. It puts together a ragtag team of violent people against an army of even more violent people to showcase a western battle that is just plain fun to watch. And it's got Denzel. Come on. You know you're already going to see it.
B
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